Posts by SilkeCelia

How To Find Your True Self: 7 Ways To Reveal it.

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How To Find Your True Self

 

Your true self is the part of you that is constant. It transcends your body, emotions, and experiences. It is the essence of you.

How would you describe yourself? You might declare that you are Susan, wife of Bob, a pharmaceutical sales rep, and have Scottish ancestry.

However, if you had been named Beth, married a guy named Steve, worked as a nurse and had Irish ancestors, you would still be the same person you are now. Your life and experiences might be different, but you would still be fundamentally the same person.

There’s something about you that’s constant, though it’s hard to describe exactly what that is.

Who are you?

One thing is for certain: when you’re living a life that aligns with your true self, you’re going to be happy. If you’re not living a life that resonates with your true self, you’ll feel like something is lacking. It doesn’t matter how much success, fortune, and fame you achieve if your true self isn’t honored.

Try these ideas to discover your true self and reveal your path in life:

  1. What is your level of introversion / extroversion? Do you feel more energized and comfortable when alone or with others? When are you at your best?
  • If you’re naturally introverted, a job that requires interacting with people all day long is going to create a lot of stress and anxiety.
  • Spending time alone in a cubicle working on a computer might drive you crazy if you’re extroverted.
  1. What did you like as a child that you still like today? It might be baseball, Scooby-Doo cartoons, pizza, and afternoon naps. Dig deeper than that. You might find that you’ve always craved adventure, creativity, and helping others. Think about the characteristics and qualities in your life that have been constant.
  2. If you could accomplish anything, what do you think would be your greatest accomplishment? Is it earning a billion dollars or winning a Nobel Peace Prize? Maybe it’s writing a best-selling book or adopting a disadvantaged child. What do you think is the greatest accomplishment a person can have?
  3. What do you consider to be the most important lessons you could teach a child? What do you wish you had known when you were 10-20 years of age? What could you have known that would have made your life more meaningful?
  4. What would you do with great wealth? After you bought a mansion and a fancy car, what would you do with your life? What would you do with your free time and extensive financial resources?
  5. Who are your heroes? Albert Einstein? John D. Rockefeller? Mother Teresa? Whom do you look up to? Why? Whose life would you most like to emulate? Whom would you be most proud to be like?
  6. Think about who you have been. Sometimes we get too caught up in who we want to be and ignore who we are. You might dream of being a Rockstar, but can’t carry a tune, can’t play an instrument, and suffer from panic attacks when faced with an audience. We all have to accept our limitations.
  • It’s important to make the most of your life but be realistic about who you are.
  • What are your natural strengths and weaknesses? Likes and dislikes?

You can’t create your true self. You can only discover, acknowledge, and accept it.

Whatever your true self might be, you can be sure that it’s spectacular. It’s your job to reveal it to yourself and then honor it. Run with your interests and strengths. Avoid worrying about your dislikes and weaknesses. Honor yourself and enjoy your life.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

 

Silke Glaab (aka >>SilkCelia) is a Rapid Transformation Coach for Executives and Entrepreneurs to Make Profound Life & Career Changes in 4 hours by using super learning tools like Hypnotherapy, Systemic Work and Theta Healing.
Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in diverse industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

Career Crossroad: 4 Tips To Choose Right

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"Shall I stay in my comfort with my benefits or quit and change my career?, a client I coach - a doctor in the pharmaceutical industry, asked me.

"I am at a crossroad of my career and have to make the right decision! Is it really worth starting again and trying something new"

Making a career choice and sticking to it is not as easy as it sounds, especially in today’s economic climate. It can be nerve-wracking to go through the process of choosing a path, especially when you’re not sure if it’ll take you to a long-lived career.

So how do you know which path to take? How can you be sure that going in a certain direction is the absolute best thing to do?

 

Consider these thought processes to help you make the career choice that's right for you:

 

  1. Believe in the worth of your efforts. Only you know how much work and effort you’ve put into making yourself ready for the ideal career. And, as the saying goes, “You get out what you put in.” If you are genuinely satisfied that you’ve made the most thorough preparations, then pat yourself on the back and go for it!
  • Consider how your achievements measure up to others in positions similar to the one you want to be in.
  • Determine if the success you’ve achieved has equipped you to take the path you most want to take.
  • Trust that you’re good enough for it!

 

  1. Know your career goals. One of the most significant aspects of choosing the right career path is determining what you want to achieve from it. Take a look at the options in front of you. How well do they measure up to your goals?
  • Do you see yourself becoming the CFO in the Northwest if you choose Option 1?
  • Will the recognition you desire be forthcoming after two years working in Option 2?
  • Can you safely say either option will allow you to reap the financial rewards you’re aiming for?

 

  1. Do it for all the right reasons. When chasing success, it’s very easy to get sidetracked by all the frills that seem to come with it. In fact, you may even lose sight of why you’re chasing a particular goal! Why would you choose a particular path? Is it to fit in with peers? Is it to prove to naysayers that you actually have what it takes?
  • Always choose the path that makes you happy and gives you pride in your achievement.
  • Make choices that work out best for you and your family; forget those people on the outside looking in.

 

  1. Never compromise your beliefs. Above all, what’s ultimately important when at a professional crossroads is sticking to what you believe in. It can be really tempting to jump at an offer that seems to have everything you ever wanted, with the “small” exception that you have to step on toes to get to the top!
  • If you believe there’s a right way to achieve the professional success you want, stick to it!
  • Usually, the choices that are the hardest to make are the best ones to make. It might not seem lucrative now, but you’ll never know what’s around the corner!

 

Remember that all that glitters isn’t gold! Sometimes the best road is the roughest road because at the end of it will be all the goals and successes you always dreamed of. Always remember to stay true to yourself and your goals; success is inevitable if you do!

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

 

Silke Glaab (aka >>SilkCelia) is a Rapid Transformation Coach for Executives and Entrepreneurs to Make Profound Life & Career Changes in 4 hours by using super learning tools like Hypnotherapy, Systemic Work and Theta Healing.
Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in diverse industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

Depression: The Dark Side of Entrepreneurship

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Entrepreneurship and Depression

Entrepreneur depression is a fact, but not often talked about. The pressure to succeed and the fear of failure makes many people running ambitious businesses afraid to ask for help.

Maybe you relate to the story of Andrew and the symptoms he shows.

Find out about a survey done in 2010 among entrepreneurs by Michael E. Freeman at al., which brought some unexpected mental health issue to light.

For those who recognize the symptoms, find practical help how to face your depression.

Pease scroll down for the transcript of the video.

Depression Effect Checklist

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Depression: The Dark Side of Entrepreneurship

 

Let me tell you about Andrew.

You may know someone like him.

He left his corporate job and went into the start-up world with a big idea.

He said he would become the number one motivational speaker and coach.

Thousands of followers… but not many paying clients.

Thousands of sold books and seats…. after a huge advertisement campaign.

Everybody thought Andrew is successful, yet his liabilities were above his assets.

Everybody saw him as confident and persuasive. Himself he had convinced that he’s not enough.

From the outside he was energetic, but felt irritable and weak most of the time.

He painted a colorful future for others, but his own picture was black and blank.

He traveled the world, but felt more disconnected and couldn’t enjoy it like before.

His life was moving him instead him moving.

 

We think entrepreneurship is

Freedom, but all responsibilities are on you.

It is working on your terms for long hours without break.

You can land a big deal, but live with chronic uncertainty to get the next one sealed.

You can work from anywhere, but your work is every time.

You can be profitable one day, but it takes time to lift off.

You fail and grieve like the loss of a loved one.

 

An online survey based on self-reports of 242 entrepreneurs by Michael E. Freeman et al in 2010 revealed that 72% reported a mental health concern (significant higher than the comparison group). 30% reported a life time history of depression, 29% ADHD and 27% anxiety. Compared to the National Centre of Health Statistics 7% of Americans were identified with depression.

 

It’s okay to work hard on your business, but nourish your brain with enough sleep, good nutrition and exercise.

It’s okay not to be strong and efficient, so find the right counselor or therapist to express your feelings and thoughts in a confidential setting to find ways to cope with stress and failure.

It’s okay to hide your issues from the public, so find the right community to chat with supportive people who have overcome similar issues and who listen to you without judgement.

It’s okay not to know it all, so find a mentor who has proven to build a profitable business.

You cannot do it all alone, so delegate or outsource things which are draining your energy to team members.

As you take salary out of your business, take time out of your week to unwind yourself.

First and foremost, a start-up puts you on an emotional rollercoaster unlike anything you have ever experienced. - Marc Andreessen

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in diverse industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

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How To Be Grateful in Times of Need

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How Gratitude increases happiness

When money is tight and you're faced with worries, it's not easy to see the bright side of life. These worries can often cloud your thoughts and bring your mood to a low.😒

Remind yourself what's going right.

In this video I'll share an easy tool 🔧 to shift your focus 🔭 to What you already have!

Scroll Down to read the full script!

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Remind Yourself About What's Going Right

If you're plagued by negative thoughts, find a quiet place, grab a pen and paper and make a list of answers to this question:

What do I have to be grateful for in my life?

Start your list with the most obvious things, your health and family.
Do you have a car? A home? Clothes on your back? Food on the table?

  • You don't have to have the fanciest or the most expensive items for you to be grateful.

A used car in good condition will get you to work just as easily as a brand new car.

You don’t own a villa and rent an apartment, but at you have roof above your head to feel secure.

  • Don't forget to give thanks for the small things in life, such as finding the car keys in time to get to work. For me it’s seeing a smile in another person.

You can also try to sit quietly in a room and meditate on your life and things you want to improve on.

Appreciating what you already have in life will free you to make the changes you desire.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in diverse industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

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Spotlight: How Decision Making Works

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How We Make Decisions

In this video you'll get the basic knowledge how we make decisions in our professional and private life:

1. The decision making steering committee.
2. Fast and slow decisions.
3. The truth about our free will.
4. Our daily biases.
5. I can predict your decisions.
6. Who makes better decisions: The CEO or a Team
7. The power of diverse teams
8. All rounded up.

All knowledge of neuroscience, psychology and philosophy packed in a poetic video.

Scroll down for transcript please.

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Once you make a decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong. Only a series of possibilities that shift each thought, feeling, and action that you experience  - Deepak Chopra

Each every person approaches his/her options differently.

Our decisions are like a parliament of decision making voices in our brain.

There are two steering committees in us:

one for fast and one for slow decisions.

Every day we decide where to sit, what to eat…

We decide which doctor to choose, which car to buy, how to fill out a tax form…

We believe we decide in the moment, but our brain has already decided before we are aware of that moment.

Imagine neurons in a steering committee voting for a preference before it is presented to us as the Executive.

We believe we decide based on rational thinking, but we are biased when we do it.

We hear about 2 plane crashes, and take the train.

We hear about pollution of oceans, and continue to drink bottled water in Bali.

We have a high value for human life, but when we call them cockroaches we kill them.

We would opt for an operation with 60% survival rate, but not for one with 40% death rate.

 

It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are. - Roy Disney.

I say: “It’s not hard to predict your decisions when I know what your meta programs are.”

To know your motivation direction, ask: What is important to you about your work/business?

To know your frame of reference, ask: Who do you turn to when trying to make a big decision?

To know if you need more demonstrating, ask: How often does someone have to demonstrate competence to you before you’re convinced.

To know if you think general or specific, ask: If you decide on something, do you need to know the master-plan or the details.

 

Decision Making drives 95% of business performance.

As Executives we believe in our ideas and knowledge.

ButgGuess who makes better decisions? The CEO or a team?

Teams make better decisions 66% of the time.

We want fresh ideas, but not the young.

We want expertise, but not the old.

We want the best decisions, but have all kinds of stereotypes...

Diverse teams (Age, Gender) make better decisions than individuals 80% of the time.

Diverse teams (Age, Gender, Geographic diversity) make better decisions than individuals 87% of the time.

­­­­­­­­­Imagine in your company or neighborhood such diverse teams starting to think into the future?

 

With the two thinking systems in us, we decide with heart and mind.

Sometimes we need to slow down and think rational.

Sometimes we need empathy for another person to change our actions.

Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes we make a decision right. - Phil Mc Graw

 

REFLECT:

WHAT DO YOU TAKE OUT OF THE VIDEO?

WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST INSIGHT?

HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR DECISIONS?

 

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Famous Failures Who Succeeded At Last

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Is the Fear of Failure Holding You Back from Achieving Success?

Nobody enjoys failing, but you may be letting a fear of failure sabotage your chances for success. Some people are so afraid to fail that they refuse to try. However, failing to try is the only true failure. If you try something and fail, try again. Eventually you’ll succeed.

Without trying, your chances of success are 0%. We are here to live our best lives.

There are countless stories of historical figures that failed time and time again, but didn’t give up. Perseverance led them to success. Success is not built in seconds but through a life time.

Read these stories about people who simply wouldn’t quit:

Harlan Sanders.

Harlan Sanders, also known as Colonel Sanders, is famous for being the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

  • The Colonel faced many hardships because his famous fried chicken recipe wasn’t an instant success. When trying to market his chicken recipe to restaurants, Colonel Sanders was rejected 1,009 times.
  • In 1952, he finally persuaded a Utah restaurant owner to partner with him and they launched the first Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant.
  • By the early 1960s, there were over 600 locations in the United States and Canada.

 

Babe Ruth.

Babe Ruth was one of the most famous home run hitters in the history of baseball. He had 714 home runs when he ended his career in 1935. That record stood until 1974 when Hank Aaron hit his 715th career home run.

  • What many don't realize about Babe Ruth is that in addition to his home runs, he also had 1330 career strikeouts. However, he didn't let the strikeouts bother him. Babe once said, "Every strikeout brings me closer to the next home run."

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If you're letting a fear of failure hold you back from accomplishing your dreams, think about all these examples. How different would things have been if they had quit?

If these individuals had been afraid to fail, they wouldn’t have gone on to achieve the incredible success they enjoyed. Successful people embrace failure because they realize that there is no such thing as success without it.

 

Time to Reflect:

What are you afraid of?

What is the worst thing which could happen? 

And from that, what is the worst thing which can happen?

Continue this questions until you'll find the not of your fear.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

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Albert Einstein.

.Albert Einstein. The name Albert Einstein is synonymous with genius. He's one of the most brilliant scientists who ever walked the earth. But did you know that Einstein didn’t speak until he was four years old, and didn’t learn to read until he was seven? When he was growing up, one of his teachers described Albert Einstein as "mentally slow."

  • Of course, when he grew up he went on to win the Nobel Prize in physics, devised the theory of relativity, and came up with probably the most famous formula in history, E=mc2.

 

Henry Ford.

Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company, is famous for his innovations in manufacturing and coming up with the idea of the assembly line.

  • Although Ford achieved tremendous fame, fortune, and success in his lifetime, he also had several businesses early on that didn’t make it. His previously failed businesses left Henry Ford completely broke five times before he found success with manufacturing cars.

John Grisham.

John Grisham is a wildly successful author who has sold millions of books, many of which have been turned into blockbuster movies. Getting his first book published wasn't so easy though. His first book, A Time to Kill, was rejected by 28 different publishers before one publisher finally took a chance on him and printed 5,000 copies.

  • Despite his rocky start, Grisham has gone on to sell over 250 million copies of his books.

Sylvester Stallone.

Sylvester Stallone is a famous movie star, but many of his fans are unaware of the struggles he went through to break into the business.

  • He was so strapped for cash at one point that he had to sell his dog for $25 in order to pay his electric bill. Just two weeks later, he wrote the script for Rocky and started trying to secure a movie deal.
  • Sylvester Stallone was rejected over 1,500 times before United Artists offered him $125,000 for the Rocky script. However, the studio didn’t want Stallone to star in the movie.
  • Back in the 1970s, $125,000 was a huge amount of money, but Stallone still refused. United Artists upped their offer to $250,000 and then to $325,000. Stallone wouldn’t accept the deal unless he was able to star in the movie.
  • He eventually accepted a different deal that paid him just $35,000 and a percentage of the profits.
    Fortunately for Sylvester Stallone, the original movie went on to gross over $200 million. The Rocky franchise, with all of the sequels, has grossed over $1 billion.

13 Ways To Spread Happiness at Work

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Steps To Happiness at Work

Even while the recession puts more pressure on many businesses, there's no reason that the atmosphere must be dire. Happy workers do better work and better work is the only way to weather the economy.

No matter what position you hold, you can take charge of the way you think to increase your job satisfaction and have a positive influence on your colleagues.

 

Make Yourself Happier at Work

 

1. Accept the situation. Every job has unpleasant duties. If your position prevents you from being able to change the situation, try to accept it. Look for the humor in having to complete a detailed form that no one ever reads or devote your energy to thinking about more constructive things.

 

2. Take breaks. Giving yourself a rest is good for your emotional health and productivity. Stand up and step away from the computer for a few minutes every hour. Take time to chat with your coworkers so long as you don't distract them from their work.

 

3. Take control. Feeling in control is an important factor in job satisfaction. Plan ahead to make your work more pleasant. Keep your to do list up to date. Propose a timeline for major projects. Your supervisor may appreciate your initiative and you'll avoid the stress of leaving things until the last minute.

 

4. Get organized. It's easier to feel relaxed if your surroundings are in good order. Clear away clutter. Keep supplies and files you use frequently in a spot where you can access them easily.

 

5. Engage more fully. You may find your work more interesting if you devote your full attention to it. Look for ways to streamline routine tasks. Listen actively to presentations, take notes and ask follow up questions.

 

6. Think positive. Focus on the things you like about your job and the people you work with. Remind yourself of reasons to be grateful, such as opportunities to travel or flexible hours so you can attend your child's soccer games.

 

7. Use your strengths. Identify your strong points and put them to work for you. Whether you're a good writer or an effective salesperson, volunteer for assignments that will make the most of your talents.

 

8. Connect with your motivation. Keep in mind the purpose of your work. You may feel a personal affinity with the mission of your employer or feel gratified knowing that you're providing for yourself and your family.

 

 

Help Your Colleagues Feel Happier At Work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Regard others with affection. It's easier to have cordial relations with your coworkers if you decide to like them. Think about your feelings for your family and friends and try to extend those positive emotions to everyone you interact with. Find something you like about each coworker and focus on that quality when you engage them.

 

2. Regard others with compassion. The people you find difficult may need the most kindness. Imagine yourself in the other person's position during a conflict to understand where they're coming from.

 

3. Be generous with praise. Observe the good qualities and skills that your colleagues possess. Let them know that you appreciate their strengths and contributions.

 

4. Help out. Pitch in when your coworkers ask for help. Pay attention and notice when someone has extra work so you can volunteer without even being asked.

 

5. Bring food. Food will instantly enhance your popularity and cheer people up. Bring in a bag of bagels. Donate a tin of cocoa or a special tea to the office kitchen.

 

The way you think about your work can lift your spirits and make you a better coworker. You spend a good deal of your life at the office, so use these tips to make it a better time for yourself and the people you work with.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

 

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) for people who want to be ELEVATED above their current way of thinking and behaving, who want to contribute the Best to this world, and lead in(to) the future.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

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9 Ways Introvert Executives CAN have an Active Social Life

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Be an Introvert and Have an Active Social Life.

Being an introvert and having a social life might seem be contradictory, but it’s possible for both to coexist.

Balance is the key to successfully combining introversion and social activity. Too much social activity can be exhausting for an introvert. Too little will leave him longing for social interaction. Being an introvert doesn’t require spending 100% of your time alone. Introverts can have fulfilling and active social lives.

Use these strategies to have an active social life and still enjoy your time alone:

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1.Avoid pretending to be something you’re not. If you’re not an extrovert, stop pretending that you are. Not only will you be acting in a disingenuous manner, but you’ll also wear yourself out. This strategy will only convince you that an active social life isn’t a possibility.

 

2.Consider your perfect day. If you were able to plan your perfect day, what ratio of people time to alone time would you choose? Attempt to create enough social contact to match that ratio. In addition, consider whether the time spent with others would include friends, family, or strangers.

 

3.Focus on quality. An introvert typically doesn’t want 50 casual friends. He wants a few, close connections. Everyone has a limited amount of time to spend on social activities each week, so spend your time wisely.

  • A few meaningful connections may be more satisfying and less stressful than many casual friendships.

4.Be willing to decline offers for social activities. It’s okay to turn down offers for social contact. Stay home if your energy levels are waning. Going out when you’re already drained will ensure a miserable experience.

 

5.Create the habit of being social at least once per week. Even if you have friends already, you run the risk of losing touch with them if you don’t spend time together on a regular basis. Once a week, either see your current friends or spend time making new friends. Have a standing date to be social one night each week.

 

6.Have a predictable social gathering at least once per month. Join a club, a sporting league, or take poker lessons. Get out of the house at least once each month for a structured social event.

 

7.Consider the venues that match your introversion. A loud, crowded bar or nightclub might be a little too much for your tastes. Perhaps coffee or a trip to the bookstore with a friend would be choice that is more enjoyable. All will have a better time if you match an activity with your comfort.

 

8.Introduce yourself to at least one new person each month. It could be a neighbor, friend of a friend, fellow employee, or a complete stranger. Follow up with others that seem compatible and interesting. It’s okay to let the rest go. Within a year, you’ll have at least a few new connections. A few might be all you need.

 

9.Learn to ask open-ended questions. It can be tiring to be the focus of a conversation. The solution is simple: ask questions that encourage others to talk. Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple question like, “Where did you go to school?” Instead, ask them what they enjoyed most about college.

  • A few good questions will keep the other person talking for a long time.
  • With a little practice, you’ll be known as an excellent conversationalist. Interestingly, you won’t have to say much.

 

It’s possible to match your introverted personality with an active social life. Your version of an active social life might be different from that of an extrovert. What matters is that you’re enjoying your life to the fullest and spending some quality time with others. Stretch yourself, but it isn’t necessary to make yourself miserable on a regular basis. Focus on quality relationships.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

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7 Powerful Habits of Highly Successful Leaders

7 Powerful Habits of Highly Successful Leaders

Introduction

What makes a great leader? What daily actions can you take to grow personally and professionally?

We will cover 7 daily habits that make outstanding leaders.

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Habit #1: We’ll cover the one thing you can do every day that builds confidence and immediate success.

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Habit #2: Moving through your day, you’ll face opportunities to put your core values to action when you make decisions. In this section, we’ll cover how to choose your values.

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Habit #4: Working with a team can be challenging work. It is important to remain mindful, authentic, and trusting of others in order to create a cohesive team. We’ll cover how to do that in this section.

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Habit #3: You’ll discover how to exercise your creative muscle so you’ll be able to think and lead in new ways.

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Habit #5: In order to build a team that gels well, you need trust. We’ll discuss 4 ways you can build trust as a leader.

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 Habit #6: We’ll look at the important concepts of authenticity, selfcompassion, and communication.

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 Habit #7: Strong leadership needs strong mental and physical toughness. We’ll cover some ways to exercise your mind and body.

There are specific habits you can follow that will allow you to lead with peace, strength, and courage.

These habits are a great way to move one step forward on your journey as a leader.
Now let’s look at these daily habits in greater detail…

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7 Powerful Habits of Highly Successful Leaders

HABIT #1: MAKE YOUR BED

Start your day by making your bed. You won’t regret it.


There’s even an entire book about it called Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World by William H. McRaven. McRaven outlines the benefits of starting each day with a made bed. Most importantly, it leads to a better day.


Making the bed is a small action that goes a long way. This one action is the catalyst for a day of success. Starting the day with positive action leads to more positive action, and before you know it, the stream of inspiration continues to more success.


Being a leader starts with your own source of confidence.


In order to better focus on your own feelings of strength, there are simple behavior modifications you can make that will increase confidence. Part of this is building on success. You can do one small thing – make your bed – and use that as a springboard to more positivity.


STICKING TO A ROUTINE


Start the day off right with a definite action that marks the beginning of your day. Making your bed is a great way to cue your mind to kick into gear and start the day. By doing this, a solid morning routine is established.

Making your bed can strengthen your ability to lead. Here’s how:

1. Consistent structure. Routines are an important part of each day because they provide a consistent structure.

○ This structure provides a stability that is key to outstanding leadership because it gives you strength and peace of mind at the very beginning of the day.

2. Predictability. By knowing exactly what your morning looks like, you are able to avoid any unnecessary confusion or indecision.

○ This predictability decreases anxiety because your mind doesn’t need to be riddled with unnecessary predictions about what your day will be like.

3. Greater self-discipline. Sticking to a morning routine increases self-discipline in all areas. This habit requires intention and patience. This ritual will provide an inner strength that will permeate all of your affairs, making you a stronger leader.

4. Satisfaction. Regardless of the day you’ve had, you always get to come home to a made bed. That is where the satisfaction of a morning routine comes full circle. When you unmake your bed and tuck yourself in at night, you’ll feel a sense of satisfaction regardless of outside stressors.

It’s important to set up the first hour or two of your day to be the same every morning. Start with making your bed.

See if you can go the first hour of your day without checking your email or social media.

 

Remain peaceful and slowly begin your day. This will feel much more satisfying than the shock of the alarm clock jolting you into reality.

If you have trouble sleeping, establishing a nightly routine is a great way to get your sleep in order.

Turn off technology at least one hour before bed. Take time to slow your mind and relax. It can be hard to go from work-mode to chillmode, but this transition is important. If you don’t take time to let yourself slow your thoughts and be mindful, you’ll likely experience more stress.

If you can always count on your mornings and your nights looking the same, you’ll feel a better sense of security throughout your day.

Life is always uncertain, and that’s one of the only things you can be certain of. However, you can implement a structure that will help tether you to the present moment.

Regardless of how much your mind wanders throughout the day, regardless of the ups and downs, you’ll always have a fresh setting in which to start and end your day. This contributes to a more peaceful environment at home.

When you feel refreshed and energized, you’re more likely to approach your interactions with the same attitude.

Being a leader requires a quiet stability. One way to work towards that consistency and dependability is by making your bed in the morning.

HABIT #2: ACT ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES

CHOOSING YOUR VALUES

Values are core concepts that can be used as guideposts for living. There are limitless possibilities for what values you can use to guide your leadership. Based on how you live and work, you can evaluate your priorities and decide upon your core values.


These techniques can help you clarify your values:


1. What type of leader do you want to be? An effective way to approach the prospect of choosing your values is by looking at what type of leader you want to be. How do you want to treat difficult situations? When have you felt like a good leader in the past?


2. Write down the things that are important to you. While choosing your values, it may be helpful to write them down and think through what it will look like when you are acting upon those values.


3. Prioritize. It’s important to choose a small selection of values rather than dozens. At first, you can choose any values that sound applicable. Once you have a good selection, narrow down those values based on how important they are to your mission.


Sticking to just a few guiding principles makes the evaluation of decisions much simpler.

 

HOW CAN YOU MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON VALUES?

Your values represent what you really stand for. When you’re acting according to your values, you’re turning them into verbs and living them out loud.

For example, if you value honesty, you may act according to that value by remaining honest in all of your interactions. If you value reliability, you may demonstrate that value by being consistently available to those who rely on you.

Having a set of core values can be a sort of safety net in situations that may be uncomfortable or unclear. By looking at these values, you can make a decision based on the type of leader you want to be.

HABIT #3: BE CREATIVE

 

Creativity is a major factor in leadership. In fact, it frequently separates the good from the great. Outstanding leaders are creative.

 

An ability to think quickly (and to do so outside the box) is a skill that can be harnessed by embracing creativity in new ways. Try these endeavors to spark your creativity.

 

WRITE

 

Practice these writing techniques:

 

1. Journaling. There are many wonderful benefits of keeping a journal:

○ Consistently journaling can help heal you emotionally.

○ A journal is a great resource during times of stress or confusion.

○ By getting your thoughts out of your head and onto a piece of paper, you may be able to stand back and see your concerns from a new perspective. 

 

 

2. Morning Pages. One writing practice that you can implement today is an activity called “morning pages” presented by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way. Morning Pages are three pages of stream-of consciousness writing that are best done as a part of your morning routine.

○ Writing like this gives you an immediate outlet where you can lay out any thoughts that may be bogging you down.

○ Think of your Morning Pages time as an opportunity to clean out your mind and rid yourself of unnecessary anxieties or cares. Leave all of your concerns on the page so that you can go out and embrace your day.

○ Do three pages seems like too long? You don’t even need to complete a whole page. Avoid pressuring yourself to complete three pages. Over time, you can work your way up.

 

MAKE SOMETHING

Whether your specialty is programming or tap dancing, making something opens your mind to being creative in new ways. New experiences in creating art unleash your mind because you get to stretch it in new directions.

It can be intimidating to paint a painting or make a coffee mug from clay. There’s no need to do something that sparks immense anxiety. However, you can challenge yourself a little bit.

See what it’s like to make something new:

1. Start easily. Begin by choosing a coloring book and your favorite color markers. You can work your way up from there. Eventually, you might try painting or sculpture!

○ The important thing is to choose something that is a different type of creative than you’re used to.

2. Reap the benefits:

○ Trying new creative endeavors leads to decreased anxiety and increased peace-of-mind.

○ Being creative means taking risks. It means believing in the impossible and dreaming the biggest dreams. By embracing new ways of thinking, your mind will awaken to new pathways of innovation.

○ Being creative also allows for faster and more effective problem solving, a critical skill for strong leaders.

This new type of experience will ripple into many aspects of your leadership style, enabling you to think in new ways.

BE FLEXIBLE

Part of creativity is the ability to be flexible, especially when challenges appear in your path.

Obstacles don’t mean that the path is ruined. Instead, obstacles tell us that there’s a more effective route to our goal. Sometimes obstacles lead us to the goal in a way we never would have seen without that hiccup. 

Try these strategies to strengthen your ability to be flexible:

1. Go with the flow. Because life is uncertain and (unfortunately) we can’t control everything, it’s especially important to remain flexible during times of stress or confusion. With constant upgrades in technology and efficiency, the way the team operates is constantly evolving.

2. Keep an open mind. Flexibility requires an ability to meet unusual circumstances with an open mind and motivation to push forward. Outstanding leaders respond to the needs of their team and take steps accordingly.

○ For example, when a potential issue appears, it may be necessary to set aside the planned work for the day to address this need.

○ Responding to this deviation can be handled calmly and seamlessly. Instead of resisting the current needs, embrace the new direction and see where it leads.

○ This tactic will also ensure that the highest priority items are done first, even if they sneak up. Teams run like a well-oiled machine when everyone is willing to have an open-mind.

3. Let go of expectations. As a leader, it’s important to be able to let go of certain expectations. This can be difficult to do, but it will help foster new ideas and attention to detail.

○ One behavior modification you can do today is imagine what it would be like to let go of expectations. You don’t even have to let go of the expectations yet. Simply imagine what it might be like to enter the day without expectations.

○ Let go of your idea of how the day must go. What would happen if you let go completely and addressed the present moment?

○ Instead of thinking five steps ahead of your current conversation, try focusing on each word and each idea as they come.

The ability to remain present in the moment is essential to remaining flexible.

○ By sticking to what you know now, you can choose your next step wisely.

Resisting the present moment is the fast lane to frustration. By letting go of your expectations, you can embrace the flexibility you need to lead others forward. You’re able to accept and address each moment as it comes.

 

HABIT #4: PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

 

Mindfulness has become hugely popular, and for good reason! There are many benefits to mindfulness that bring about noticeable change. The benefits of a regular and consistent mindfulness practice are overwhelming. Especially in moments of stress, this emotion-regulation tool brings about peace in the storm.

 

As a leader, it’s especially important to be able to stay calm and lead your team out of a crisis. The inner peace that mindfulness brings you is ideal in helping you through such situations.

 

By practicing mindfulness for just 10 minutes a day, you’ll enjoy the benefits that come with a consistent routine.

 

There are a number of easy ways to dive into a mindfulness practice.

 

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

 

Mindfulness meditation is a powerful way to embrace the miracle of mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn (an expert in mindfulness) defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

 

The purpose of mindfulness meditation is to come to the present moment with awareness. There is no goal. The goal isn’t even to have no thoughts. It’s nearly impossible to have no thoughts. So, don’t worry when your mind wanders.

 

Discover how mindfulness meditation is as simple as breathing:

1. Get ready to meditate. Find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair. Sit upright but remain comfortable. You can keep your eyes open and focus on one spot in front of you, or you can shut your eyes.

2. Next, focus on your breathing. Feel yourself inhaling. You can even think to yourself, “Oh, here I am, inhaling.” Exhale. Notice, “Oh, now I am exhaling.” Try to do this consistently.

3. Notice when your mind wanders. Your mind will naturally wander. The moment that you notice your mind wandering is the truest moment of awareness.

4. Bring your focus back to your breathing. You can gently return your focus to your breath. You haven’t failed at meditating. In fact, you’ve succeeded!

Mindfulness meditation strengthens focus – a change that occurs after just a couple of weeks of consistent meditation.

If you tend to be an anxious person, meditation is the right thing for you. It may seem daunting to sit quietly for more than just a few minutes, but you can work your way up to a time that you’re comfortable with. If you can stick through a sometimes uncomfortable beginning, a steady meditation practice will decrease anxiety the more you do it.

MINDFULNESS PRACTICES

Depending on your style and preferred coping skills, you can develop a mindfulness practice that consists of engaging activities that work for you.
By setting aside dedicated time to practice mindfulness each day (start with 5 minutes!), a residual calmness will wash over the rest of your day.

Try these mindfulness practices:

1. Sort buttons. One fun mindfulness practice requires one big jar and a lot of buttons. Dump out all of the buttons and then organize them into whatever categories you want. Arrange them by size, shape, color, in order from smallest to largest, or anything you want.

The point is to get lost in the moment and focus on what is right in front of you. Instead of leaving your current moment and jumping back in time or far into the future, try seeing what it feels like to really be here right now.

○ Arranging buttons may not seem like much, but you might find that it’s the break you really need.

2. Pursue creative activities. When you embrace your creativity and pursue creative endeavors, you can practice mindfulness.

○ Try coloring in a coloring book for 10 minutes.

○ You can paint a painting with your favorite colors and pay careful attention to each brush stroke. Be intentional with each color. Really feel what it’s like to hold a paintbrush in your hand.

3. Get back to nature. Perhaps you need a break to go breathe fresh air in nature. Whether you take your dog to the dog park, head to the beach, or go for hike, immersing yourself in nature is a great way to practice mindfulness.

○ There is something very healing about being outside and feeling free.

○ Spend time each week in nature, observing the wonders of life going on around you.

MINDFULNESS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

If you don’t want to carve out specific time to do a mindfulness activity, you can find ways to seamlessly integrate mindfulness into your existing daily routines.

Try these strategies:

1. Start by brushing your teeth. While you brush your teeth, try focusing on the bristles on your gums, or the taste of the minty toothpaste on your toothbrush. Maybe you can smell the minty freshness filling your mouth. Maybe you hear the bristles brushing in small circles, just like your dentist always reminds you.

2. Take your dog for a walk. While you walk, simply focus on details of the landscape right in front of you. Try not to bother yourself with the typical commentary that occurs throughout the day. As you walk, observe.

○ Observe the colors of the leaves, the sounds of the cars, and the barking from other dogs as you walk past them. You can focus on your heels hitting the ground, and then your toes.

Simply take in, with all of your senses, exactly what is occurring in the present moment.

○ When your mind wanders, simply notice and return your attention to what is going on in the present moment.

3. Eat mindfully. Mindful eating is a wonderful way to practice mindfulness. So frequently, we find ourselves rushing through our meal, talking with others, or even doing work while eating. Rarely do we truly pay attention to each bite we take and each taste we taste.

○ Pay close attention to your food. Take in each smell and texture of every bite.

Outstanding leaders practice mindfulness. And their team members receive the benefits of this practice. By practicing mindfulness, you’ll be able to retain an open mind and clear head. When facing obstacles, you won’t be met with stress. Instead, a consistent calm will remain in the moment and it will be easy to focus on the task at hand.

Because mindfulness so improves attention, you may begin noticing things you’ve never seen before. Attention to detail is a skill best developed through mindfulness.

You’ll also notice greater feelings of fulfillment and fewer feelings of pressure or stress. Your ability to regulate emotion, manage stress, and stay calm will radiate from you.

This sort of energy is contagious, and soon your whole team will also feel at ease. Mindfulness will enable you to create a culture of calm. By doing so, you’re creating a team of people who are secure and willing. This can lead to powerful new ideas that will continue to make the world a better place. 

HABIT #5: TRUST OTHERS

 

Sometimes, being a leader means taking a step back. While taking on a new challenge it can be best to give your team members the opportunity to embrace new growth.
Follow these strategies to empower your team and lead them to greater success.

 

DELEGATE

 

Instead of taking the lead as you usually do, let another hard worker take a stab at it. Delegating allows you to get work done through the efforts of collaborative teamwork.

 

Your leadership will shine brightest through the accomplishments of others. Watch the magic that can happen when you give your team the power to adventure to their own success.

 

Delegation fosters a culture of trust throughout the community. When you demonstrate trust in others, they will trust you in return. The appreciation of respect and trust will lead to positive steps forward and new developments.

 

Trust is one of the keys of developing a well-functioning and dedicated team. When team members appreciate and help one another, more work will get done because there is less fear associated with work pressures.

EMPOWER YOUR TEAM

Allowing others to take the reins can at first seem counter intuitive. If you already know how to do something well, it can be difficult to let someone who doesn’t know how to do it take an attempt.

However, this practice is important. By allowing others to take new leaps, they will feel more secure in pursuing the team’s mission.

Finding creative ways to empower a team can be difficult. The most important thing to do is acknowledge hard work. You don’t need to provide positive praise every day, or even every week. But it’s important to voice appreciation for those who go above and beyond.

ALLOW ROOM FOR INNOVATION

A culture of trust and follow-through will develop leaders within the community. These leaders will inspire their peers. This spread out leadership leads to a special kind of collaboration. When all parties feel present, valued, and empowered, new innovations can take place.

See how this transformation happens:

1. Get started. At first, new ideas and taking risks can seem intimidating or daunting. It’s easier to stick to the tried and true ways of doing things. But what if there’s something better? What if there’s something right under your nose that could change the world?

2. The best way to brilliance is with a team of dedicated people:

○ In an environment that feels safe and non-judgmental, people are more likely to communicate while collaborating with each other. Peers will create small thinktanks, where no one is afraid of a bad idea. The very best ideas frequently evolve from an original not-so-awesome idea.

○ Collaboration ensures movement towards big, creative goals. With greater connectivity, resources for growth are plentiful.

3. Think long term. With each passing year there is even more inspiring innovation. That innovation was born out of brave leaders taking leaps. The future is happening in every moment. There is constant newness. Constant freshness. Always forward.

Allowing everyone on your team to be a leader and giving everyone the power to pursue growth inevitably leads to innovation. As their leader, you’ve inspired those around you to create this environment of success.

GIVE DIRECTION

Have no fear, letting others take new risks doesn’t mean that you have to stand by while mistakes are made. These situations are great chances for you to provide guidance and mentorship.

You can always teach something new to those you lead. As a leader, you have the opportunity to guide those who have never walked the path that you have.

Combining the wisdom of experience and the clarity of newness gives a fresh perspective on the big picture.

You will also benefit by allowing yourself to be flexible and open minded while learning from those you lead.

HABIT #6: BE AUTHENTIC

 

See how living according to your values supports being authentic: 

 

1. Your values can remind you to be authentic. If your values are based on the person you truly are (or the person you’re growing into), allowing them to guide you is a great way to remind yourself to stay authentic.

 

○ When you stray from your values (as we all do from time to time, or from minute to minute), you can check-in with yourself to evaluate whether you’re truly being authentic.

 

○ For example, after you’ve left an interaction, you can check in with yourself – “Did I stand strong? Did I show up to the present moment?”

 

○ When the answer to these questions is no, you don’t need to be hard on yourself. It’s sometimes difficult to be authentic. In times of anxiety or stress, it’s easy to fall into people-pleasing behaviors. Sometimes the ego takes over, especially in positions of leadership.

 

○ Remember to be self-compassionate when you find that you were actually worried more about looking good than you were about being authentic.

 

2. Being authentic doesn’t mean you need to share your deepest personal details with everyone you meet.

 

○ Every interaction you have may have a different tone – casual, familial, professional, even cold – each of these calls for authenticity in a slightly different way.

 

○ You can be authentic in a setting that is appropriate professionally. Remain authentic at work by allowing your core values to guide you. Perhaps in a work setting your vocabulary or tone of voice changes. That’s okay. You’re being authentic as long as you are shining through.

 

Leaders who remain true to their authentic selves are likely to be well-respected and well-liked.

 

By owning your true self and acting according to your values, other wonderful things will happen. A feeling of ease will permeate through the workspace. Since there isn’t a secret persona you’re trying to pull off, you don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not.

 

Authenticity means accepting exactly who you are and showing up to each present moment.

 

Practicing authenticity requires self-compassion. Being self-compassionate is another challenging task that seems obvious, but doesn’t always come naturally. 

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Brene Brown defines authenticity as:

”A collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

SELF-COMPASSION

Self-compassion is pivotal to authenticity because it allows us to be okay with being ourselves.

Plus, part of being a truly outstanding leader is having compassion - for others and for yourself. By changing your negative self-talk and addressing your downfalls with compassion instead of self-criticism, you’ll notice an obvious shift towards positivity.

Self-compassion builds resilience, it increases productivity, and it decreases negative rumination.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher who has taken on the study of self-compassion, explains self-compassion. She says, “instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings.”

In her book, Self-Compassion, Dr. Neff outlines three elements of self-compassion:

● Self-kindness 

● Common humanity

● Mindfulness

Let’s look closer at these qualities of self-compassion:

1. Self-kindness. When you make a mistake on your leadership journey, be grateful for an opportunity to practice self-compassion by changing your self-talk.

○ Changing your self-talk is a process. It begins by observing when you’re being critical. And then you replace those critical thoughts with self-loving thoughts. Eventually, this process will become automatic.

○ Follow these steps:

i. Be aware. Notice your self-talk when you’re in a negative head space after making a mistake.

ii. Observe the negative feeling. If you find yourself repeating negative phrases to yourself, take a moment to bring your awareness to that line of thinking.

iii. Change your thought. Try writing down one of those negative thoughts. Next to it, write down an opposite and true positive phrase that you can repeat to yourself instead.

2. Common humanity. Feeling negative about ourselves can often be isolating. A key part of self-compassion is recognizing the common humanity that runs through all humans.

○ When you make a mistake, or something doesn’t go as planned, see what it’s like to feel a sense of connection with all who have felt the way you do.

○ Practicing this over time leads to more compassion for others. When your teammates make a mistake or take the wrong route, you’ll be more forgiving and less blaming.

3. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is another major factor in self-compassion. When you approach a situation with mindfulness, you’ll find that you won’t feel so wrapped up in the situation.

○ You can use mindfulness when you’re having a whirlwind of  negative self-talk. Instead of letting your thoughts sweep you away into a black hole of self-doubt, try coming into a mindful awareness of your thoughts.

○ This will help you put things into perspective and take a step back.

SELF-COMPASSION EXERCISES

There are simple exercises that you can do in order to make self-compassion a part of your regular thought processes. You can set aside time, or you can integrate self-compassion into your daily life.

Try these techniques to increase your self-compassion: 

1. Go out to eat. Take yourself out for your favorite food and keep the thought in your mind that you’re doing it because you love yourself. During your meal, repeat self-loving phrases. Try to go the whole meal just saying nice things to yourself.

○ If you have a hard time coming up with nice things to say about yourself on the spot, try writing yourself a short note or letter stating objective facts, such as “I have potential. I am capable. I am a hard worker.”

○ You can also refer to this note during times of stress or feelings of failure.

2. Meditate. Starting a meditation practice, as we’ve already learned, has many benefits. One of them is an increase in self-compassion.

 

○ During your meditation practice, try repeating a positive mantra to yourself. It should be simple, believable, and easy to remember. You can bring this mantra with you and think of it throughout the day.

 

3. Remind yourself how great you are. A great way to remember to pause for self-compassion is by setting reminders on your phone to go off a few times a day. When you hear your phone ding, you can use that small interruption to say some kind phrases to yourself.

 

You’re not the only one who will feel better as a result of self-compassion. Those you lead will reap the benefits as well. You may even notice that your ability to be kind to yourself inspires others to do the same.

 

It’s a common misconception that beating ourselves up leads to less mistakes in the future. Unfortunately, there will always be mistakes in the future. Always. That’s part of life.

 

This is where having a self-compassion practice comes in handy.

 

By starting a self-compassion practice now, you’ll handle future hurdles with ease.

 

Self-compassion also gives us the ability to communicate authentically. We may say something we regret or suggest a bad idea. Self-compassion allows us to move on from that moment and on to the next. It provides the courage needed to take risks and communicate.  

COMMUNICATE

Authenticity requires clear communication. While it’s a good thing that others cannot read minds, it can be frustrating when you want them to exactly understand your vision. In order to get your message across, you’ll need to develop ways to help others understand your goals.

Better yet, let them be a part of the goal-making process. Get insight from others and give direct, thoughtful feedback on their ideas.

Include these ideas in your daily interactions to strengthen your ability to communicate clearly:

1. Listen. A huge part of communication is listening. By listening to others and observing their actions, you’re able to gain knowledge of what they do or do not understand.

Others can tell when you’re not listening to them. They’ll act accordingly, and that’s how miscommunication begins.

○ It’s a good practice to only have one conversation at a time. This allows all parties to feel like they’re getting the attention they deserve so they can have their voice heard.

○ While others are talking, taking brief notes will help you comprehend and remember the information.

2. Pay attention to your body language. Body Language plays a large role in communication. In fact, over half of our communication is nonverbal. When you’re communicating, ensure your body language is communicating your ideas accurately.

○ Keep an open and upright posture and make eye contact.

3. Understand what you may need to communicate. Before you pass along a plan, project, or idea, work on clarifying it for yourself before giving it to others. It might be helpful to write down key points, words, or goals so you can have guideposts while communicating.

Communication is essential to progress. In order to move forward effectively and authentically, communication is key. When you say something, let your actions communicate your ideas as well. Take a moment to come back to your breath, asses your values, and take on a fresh perspective.

Authenticity isn’t easy. Outstanding leaders have the courage to be fearlessly authentic in all areas of their lives. It takes practice, selfcompassion, patience, and willingness. However, the payoff is worth every moment of uncomfortable learning. 

HABIT #7: EXERCISE

 

Healthy leaders are happy leaders. And happy leaders are effective and productive. A great way to achieve a positive state of mind and body is through exercise.
Regular exercise does more than boost your metabolism and muscle strength. It also lifts your mood and gives you energy.


MENTAL HEALTH


Exercise is one of the most effective ways to amplify positive mental states. Besides lifting your mood, exercise also helps with depression, anxiety, and ADHD.


By exercising, you are increasing blood flow to the brain. This increase in blood flow leads to the production of chemicals that make you happy. For example, serotonin is released when you engage in physical exercise. The production of serotonin helps for depressed states because when people are depressed, less serotonin is produced.


There are a number of workouts that especially increase mood, such as Yoga.


Here’s how Yoga can help:


● By taking an hour to go to a Yoga class, you’re giving yourself the gift of mindfulness. Yoga is a great mindfulness and exercise activity because you’re focused solely on your body and what it can do.

 

● Listening to or watching the instructor and then following the movements requires immense focus. You may notice that during Yoga class you lose track of time or forget to think. This is because you’re fully in the present moment, not bogged down by outside distractions.

 

● With Yoga, you don’t need to put too much pressure on yourself to be more flexible than you are. You can practice accepting yourself just the way you are, knowing that you’re always growing.

 

● Yoga takes patience, and the best place to practice that patience is with yourself.

 

● Take an opportunity to be self-compassionate and think about all of the amazing things your body is capable of. It’s okay to sit down and take a break on your mat during yoga class. If there’s a move you can’t do, you can simply give yourself permission to take it easy and only do as much as you can do.  

Cardiovascular routines such as running, hiking, boxing, and dancing also have wonderful mood-boosting benefits that you’ll feel during the work out, after the work out, and consistently with regular practice.

You can start by getting your body moving for 30 minutes a day just a few times a week.

There’s no need to run a marathon the first time you put on running shoes. Go easy on yourself. It won’t take long into your workout for you to notice that you’re feeling clear headed. Endorphins are being released in your brain. This collection of brain chemicals directly increases your energy level and mood.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

When you first start exercising, it works well to set small goals for yourself and your exercise routine. Start with a 30-minute outdoor walk with your dog. Work your way up to longer work out sessions.

Move toward just one goal at a time, building upon success after success.

Joining a gym is a great way to get some accountability to your goals. You can get to know a community of healthy people and use the gym resources to learn about new workouts and how to be healthier.

Does the idea of joining a gym make you feel uncomfortable?

These tips can help:

● It can be intimidating to join a gym, or even enter the doors. Don’t worry, you don’t need to wait until you’re in shape to feel comfortable working out.

● One way to start getting comfortable with the gym is by going in and asking for a tour when you get your membership. Ask questions and be observant. This is a great way to get to know a staff member, and it will help you feel more comfortable asking questions in the future.

● Once you have your gym membership, the next step is going to the gym. Start by telling yourself that all you have to do is walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes. No one is timing your workout, so you don’t need to feel shame about how long you’re in the gym.

● If all you do is walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes, you’ve had a successful work out. You’ve conquered the fear that so many have when going to the gym. Remember, these feelings of insecurity are a great way to connect to common humanity.

You can rest assured knowing that nearly everyone in the gym is or has been just as intimidated as you are. Use this as a way to connect to those around you.

Feel inspired to take better care of your body! Enjoy the mental and physical benefits that exercise can bring you. Step up to a higher plane in your leadership abilities.

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com/contact

Author

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

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6 Ways How To Boost Your Income

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6 Ways to Get a Pay Rise You Deserve

In the current weak economy, perhaps you feel grateful that you even have a job, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for and receive a raise. When the economy is struggling, a salary increase is an especially nice thing to have. There is almost always the possibility of a raise for employees with exceptional value and a certain amount of negotiating finesse.

Timing is important; it’s best to act when your perceived value is at its greatest. For many, that will mean right after a great review or after/during your involvement in a critical project. On the other hand, immediately after a major layoff or the loss of a significant client usually isn’t an opportune time to ask.

Keep the timing in mind and get busy building a case to justify your raise!

Using these strategies will help you get the raise you deserve:

1. Be an expert on your company and boss. Learn about the prosperity of your company and any limitations that may have been imposed upon salaries. What kind of person is your boss? Will she care that you had to take out a home equity loan and now you’re struggling to make the payments? Some bosses do care about personal issues; many others do not.

➡ Consider what will be most meaningful to your boss. Is he a numbers driven guy? If yes, you should back up your request with cold, hard facts. Does she tend to focus on cost-savings? Think about how you’ve saved the company money in the recent past. Always consider what your boss values the most.

2. Leverage your talent. Finding and retaining great talent is typically the biggest challenge that companies face, regardless of the company size, industry, or current economic conditions.

➡ When times are tough, good companies don’t lose sight of the fact that they must have the right people when things pick up.

➡ Avoid underestimating your value to your company. The act of asking for raise might cause them to be concerned that you’re thinking about leaving; this can be a good thing for you.

3. Show your worth. Make a list of your accomplishments and ensure your boss knows about them. When times are tough, if companies are going to reward anyone, it’s going to be those folks that produce the greatest value for them.

➡ Consider what makes you indispensable. If you realize that you’re not indispensable, start looking for things that will increase your necessity to the company.

✦ What can you do that no one else is capable of doing or that no one else wants to do?
✦ What has changed since your last raise?
✦ What new responsibilities do you now have?
✦ Are you being required to take work home at night?
✦ Do you have more employees reporting to you?
✦ Are you forced to travel more?

➡ If your responsibilities have increased significantly, you can make a good case for deserving an increase in your salary.

4. Demonstrate that you care. The very best employees also tend to be those that care the most about the company. Employers know which employees are genuinely interested in the success of the company beyond simply getting their paychecks.

➡ What are you doing to show you care?

➡ How do you represent the company to your friends, family, and the community-at-large?

➡ Do you volunteer for company sponsored events?

5. Maintain a positive attitude. When times are difficult, it can be challenging to remain upbeat. It’s hard for everyone, and companies don’t want to deal with complaining employees. If you keep a positive approach, you’ll be viewed as part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

➡ Although you might not be thrilled to go to work, companies prefer to believe that employees are there because they love being there. That means always getting to work on time and not heading for the parking lot at exactly 5:00 every day.

6. You have to actually ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Asking for a raise is, at best, an uncomfortable experience. But if you feel that you genuinely deserve it, you owe it to yourself and your family to go for it. Gather the information you need and set a goal to ask by a certain date.

➡ Practice in front of the mirror or with a friend or family member. During your daily commute, recite what you’re going to say to your boss. Knowing what you’re going to say will help to take the edge off any nerves. You can do it!

➡ Have a number in mind. Simply stating, “I’d like a raise” isn’t as effective as saying, “I’d like a $6,500 raise; here’s why I think I deserve it.” Determine a specific amount that you believe you can justify and present your case.

Challenging economic times don’t eliminate the possibility of a receiving a raise. There will be fewer raises given out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be one of the few to receive one. Don’t underestimate the value that excellent employees provide to their companies. If you can show your value, you’re far more likely to be successful.

So consider all the ways in which you are an excellent employee and be sure your boss is aware of them. Frequently, bosses are so caught up in their own challenges that they haven’t really considered all the duties and responsibilities for which you are responsible; educate them and then ask for that raise. You’ll be glad you did!

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps people to be ELEVATED above the current state of thinking and behaving, so that they contribute their BEST to this world, and to LEAD in(to) the future!

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

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