Posts by SilkeCelia

13 Ways To Spread Happiness at Work

charles-deluvio-456508-unsplash

Steps To Happiness at Work

Even while the recession puts more pressure on many businesses, there's no reason that the atmosphere must be dire. Happy workers do better work and better work is the only way to weather the economy.

No matter what position you hold, you can take charge of the way you think to increase your job satisfaction and have a positive influence on your colleagues.

 

Make Yourself Happier at Work

 

1. Accept the situation. Every job has unpleasant duties. If your position prevents you from being able to change the situation, try to accept it. Look for the humor in having to complete a detailed form that no one ever reads or devote your energy to thinking about more constructive things.

 

2. Take breaks. Giving yourself a rest is good for your emotional health and productivity. Stand up and step away from the computer for a few minutes every hour. Take time to chat with your coworkers so long as you don't distract them from their work.

 

3. Take control. Feeling in control is an important factor in job satisfaction. Plan ahead to make your work more pleasant. Keep your to do list up to date. Propose a timeline for major projects. Your supervisor may appreciate your initiative and you'll avoid the stress of leaving things until the last minute.

 

4. Get organized. It's easier to feel relaxed if your surroundings are in good order. Clear away clutter. Keep supplies and files you use frequently in a spot where you can access them easily.

 

5. Engage more fully. You may find your work more interesting if you devote your full attention to it. Look for ways to streamline routine tasks. Listen actively to presentations, take notes and ask follow up questions.

 

6. Think positive. Focus on the things you like about your job and the people you work with. Remind yourself of reasons to be grateful, such as opportunities to travel or flexible hours so you can attend your child's soccer games.

 

7. Use your strengths. Identify your strong points and put them to work for you. Whether you're a good writer or an effective salesperson, volunteer for assignments that will make the most of your talents.

 

8. Connect with your motivation. Keep in mind the purpose of your work. You may feel a personal affinity with the mission of your employer or feel gratified knowing that you're providing for yourself and your family.

 

 

Help Your Colleagues Feel Happier At Work

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Regard others with affection. It's easier to have cordial relations with your coworkers if you decide to like them. Think about your feelings for your family and friends and try to extend those positive emotions to everyone you interact with. Find something you like about each coworker and focus on that quality when you engage them.

 

2. Regard others with compassion. The people you find difficult may need the most kindness. Imagine yourself in the other person's position during a conflict to understand where they're coming from.

 

3. Be generous with praise. Observe the good qualities and skills that your colleagues possess. Let them know that you appreciate their strengths and contributions.

 

4. Help out. Pitch in when your coworkers ask for help. Pay attention and notice when someone has extra work so you can volunteer without even being asked.

 

5. Bring food. Food will instantly enhance your popularity and cheer people up. Bring in a bag of bagels. Donate a tin of cocoa or a special tea to the office kitchen.

 

The way you think about your work can lift your spirits and make you a better coworker. You spend a good deal of your life at the office, so use these tips to make it a better time for yourself and the people you work with.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

 

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) for people who want to be ELEVATED above their current way of thinking and behaving, who want to contribute the Best to this world, and lead in(to) the future.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

9 Ways Introvert Executives CAN have an Active Social Life

jared-sluyter-260692-unsplash

Be an Introvert and Have an Active Social Life.

Being an introvert and having a social life might seem be contradictory, but it’s possible for both to coexist.

Balance is the key to successfully combining introversion and social activity. Too much social activity can be exhausting for an introvert. Too little will leave him longing for social interaction. Being an introvert doesn’t require spending 100% of your time alone. Introverts can have fulfilling and active social lives.

Use these strategies to have an active social life and still enjoy your time alone:

GET MY FREE MINI-COURSE

BECOME INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL

AUDIO & WORKBOOK DELIVERED TO YOU TODAY

1.Avoid pretending to be something you’re not. If you’re not an extrovert, stop pretending that you are. Not only will you be acting in a disingenuous manner, but you’ll also wear yourself out. This strategy will only convince you that an active social life isn’t a possibility.

 

2.Consider your perfect day. If you were able to plan your perfect day, what ratio of people time to alone time would you choose? Attempt to create enough social contact to match that ratio. In addition, consider whether the time spent with others would include friends, family, or strangers.

 

3.Focus on quality. An introvert typically doesn’t want 50 casual friends. He wants a few, close connections. Everyone has a limited amount of time to spend on social activities each week, so spend your time wisely.

  • A few meaningful connections may be more satisfying and less stressful than many casual friendships.

4.Be willing to decline offers for social activities. It’s okay to turn down offers for social contact. Stay home if your energy levels are waning. Going out when you’re already drained will ensure a miserable experience.

 

5.Create the habit of being social at least once per week. Even if you have friends already, you run the risk of losing touch with them if you don’t spend time together on a regular basis. Once a week, either see your current friends or spend time making new friends. Have a standing date to be social one night each week.

 

6.Have a predictable social gathering at least once per month. Join a club, a sporting league, or take poker lessons. Get out of the house at least once each month for a structured social event.

 

7.Consider the venues that match your introversion. A loud, crowded bar or nightclub might be a little too much for your tastes. Perhaps coffee or a trip to the bookstore with a friend would be choice that is more enjoyable. All will have a better time if you match an activity with your comfort.

 

8.Introduce yourself to at least one new person each month. It could be a neighbor, friend of a friend, fellow employee, or a complete stranger. Follow up with others that seem compatible and interesting. It’s okay to let the rest go. Within a year, you’ll have at least a few new connections. A few might be all you need.

 

9.Learn to ask open-ended questions. It can be tiring to be the focus of a conversation. The solution is simple: ask questions that encourage others to talk. Avoid questions that can be answered with a simple question like, “Where did you go to school?” Instead, ask them what they enjoyed most about college.

  • A few good questions will keep the other person talking for a long time.
  • With a little practice, you’ll be known as an excellent conversationalist. Interestingly, you won’t have to say much.

 

It’s possible to match your introverted personality with an active social life. Your version of an active social life might be different from that of an extrovert. What matters is that you’re enjoying your life to the fullest and spending some quality time with others. Stretch yourself, but it isn’t necessary to make yourself miserable on a regular basis. Focus on quality relationships.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Elevate Your Life!

Sign up for my monthly newsletter and receive the best and most up to date news to contribute the BEST to this world, and  to LEAD in(to) the future.

7 Powerful Habits of Highly Successful Leaders

7 Powerful Habits of Highly Successful Leaders

Introduction

What makes a great leader? What daily actions can you take to grow personally and professionally?

We will cover 7 daily habits that make outstanding leaders.

annie-spratt-80662-unsplash

Habit #1: We’ll cover the one thing you can do every day that builds confidence and immediate success.

jon-tyson-232630-unsplash

Habit #2: Moving through your day, you’ll face opportunities to put your core values to action when you make decisions. In this section, we’ll cover how to choose your values.

sabine-schulte-150784

Habit #4: Working with a team can be challenging work. It is important to remain mindful, authentic, and trusting of others in order to create a cohesive team. We’ll cover how to do that in this section.

florian-klauer-489

Habit #3: You’ll discover how to exercise your creative muscle so you’ll be able to think and lead in new ways.

kendall-lane-39895-unsplash

Habit #5: In order to build a team that gels well, you need trust. We’ll discuss 4 ways you can build trust as a leader.

alex-block-607883-unsplash

 Habit #6: We’ll look at the important concepts of authenticity, selfcompassion, and communication.

daniel-knoflicek-333882-unsplash

 Habit #7: Strong leadership needs strong mental and physical toughness. We’ll cover some ways to exercise your mind and body.

There are specific habits you can follow that will allow you to lead with peace, strength, and courage.

These habits are a great way to move one step forward on your journey as a leader.
Now let’s look at these daily habits in greater detail…

GET MY FREE MINI-COURSE

BECOME INCREDIBLY SUCCESSFUL

AUDIO & WORKBOOK DELIVERED TO YOU TODAY

7 Powerful Habits of Highly Successful Leaders

HABIT #1: MAKE YOUR BED

Start your day by making your bed. You won’t regret it.


There’s even an entire book about it called Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...And Maybe the World by William H. McRaven. McRaven outlines the benefits of starting each day with a made bed. Most importantly, it leads to a better day.


Making the bed is a small action that goes a long way. This one action is the catalyst for a day of success. Starting the day with positive action leads to more positive action, and before you know it, the stream of inspiration continues to more success.


Being a leader starts with your own source of confidence.


In order to better focus on your own feelings of strength, there are simple behavior modifications you can make that will increase confidence. Part of this is building on success. You can do one small thing – make your bed – and use that as a springboard to more positivity.


STICKING TO A ROUTINE


Start the day off right with a definite action that marks the beginning of your day. Making your bed is a great way to cue your mind to kick into gear and start the day. By doing this, a solid morning routine is established.

Making your bed can strengthen your ability to lead. Here’s how:

1. Consistent structure. Routines are an important part of each day because they provide a consistent structure.

○ This structure provides a stability that is key to outstanding leadership because it gives you strength and peace of mind at the very beginning of the day.

2. Predictability. By knowing exactly what your morning looks like, you are able to avoid any unnecessary confusion or indecision.

○ This predictability decreases anxiety because your mind doesn’t need to be riddled with unnecessary predictions about what your day will be like.

3. Greater self-discipline. Sticking to a morning routine increases self-discipline in all areas. This habit requires intention and patience. This ritual will provide an inner strength that will permeate all of your affairs, making you a stronger leader.

4. Satisfaction. Regardless of the day you’ve had, you always get to come home to a made bed. That is where the satisfaction of a morning routine comes full circle. When you unmake your bed and tuck yourself in at night, you’ll feel a sense of satisfaction regardless of outside stressors.

It’s important to set up the first hour or two of your day to be the same every morning. Start with making your bed.

See if you can go the first hour of your day without checking your email or social media.

 

Remain peaceful and slowly begin your day. This will feel much more satisfying than the shock of the alarm clock jolting you into reality.

If you have trouble sleeping, establishing a nightly routine is a great way to get your sleep in order.

Turn off technology at least one hour before bed. Take time to slow your mind and relax. It can be hard to go from work-mode to chillmode, but this transition is important. If you don’t take time to let yourself slow your thoughts and be mindful, you’ll likely experience more stress.

If you can always count on your mornings and your nights looking the same, you’ll feel a better sense of security throughout your day.

Life is always uncertain, and that’s one of the only things you can be certain of. However, you can implement a structure that will help tether you to the present moment.

Regardless of how much your mind wanders throughout the day, regardless of the ups and downs, you’ll always have a fresh setting in which to start and end your day. This contributes to a more peaceful environment at home.

When you feel refreshed and energized, you’re more likely to approach your interactions with the same attitude.

Being a leader requires a quiet stability. One way to work towards that consistency and dependability is by making your bed in the morning.

HABIT #2: ACT ACCORDING TO YOUR VALUES

CHOOSING YOUR VALUES

Values are core concepts that can be used as guideposts for living. There are limitless possibilities for what values you can use to guide your leadership. Based on how you live and work, you can evaluate your priorities and decide upon your core values.


These techniques can help you clarify your values:


1. What type of leader do you want to be? An effective way to approach the prospect of choosing your values is by looking at what type of leader you want to be. How do you want to treat difficult situations? When have you felt like a good leader in the past?


2. Write down the things that are important to you. While choosing your values, it may be helpful to write them down and think through what it will look like when you are acting upon those values.


3. Prioritize. It’s important to choose a small selection of values rather than dozens. At first, you can choose any values that sound applicable. Once you have a good selection, narrow down those values based on how important they are to your mission.


Sticking to just a few guiding principles makes the evaluation of decisions much simpler.

 

HOW CAN YOU MAKE DECISIONS BASED ON VALUES?

Your values represent what you really stand for. When you’re acting according to your values, you’re turning them into verbs and living them out loud.

For example, if you value honesty, you may act according to that value by remaining honest in all of your interactions. If you value reliability, you may demonstrate that value by being consistently available to those who rely on you.

Having a set of core values can be a sort of safety net in situations that may be uncomfortable or unclear. By looking at these values, you can make a decision based on the type of leader you want to be.

HABIT #3: BE CREATIVE

 

Creativity is a major factor in leadership. In fact, it frequently separates the good from the great. Outstanding leaders are creative.

 

An ability to think quickly (and to do so outside the box) is a skill that can be harnessed by embracing creativity in new ways. Try these endeavors to spark your creativity.

 

WRITE

 

Practice these writing techniques:

 

1. Journaling. There are many wonderful benefits of keeping a journal:

○ Consistently journaling can help heal you emotionally.

○ A journal is a great resource during times of stress or confusion.

○ By getting your thoughts out of your head and onto a piece of paper, you may be able to stand back and see your concerns from a new perspective. 

 

 

2. Morning Pages. One writing practice that you can implement today is an activity called “morning pages” presented by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist’s Way. Morning Pages are three pages of stream-of consciousness writing that are best done as a part of your morning routine.

○ Writing like this gives you an immediate outlet where you can lay out any thoughts that may be bogging you down.

○ Think of your Morning Pages time as an opportunity to clean out your mind and rid yourself of unnecessary anxieties or cares. Leave all of your concerns on the page so that you can go out and embrace your day.

○ Do three pages seems like too long? You don’t even need to complete a whole page. Avoid pressuring yourself to complete three pages. Over time, you can work your way up.

 

MAKE SOMETHING

Whether your specialty is programming or tap dancing, making something opens your mind to being creative in new ways. New experiences in creating art unleash your mind because you get to stretch it in new directions.

It can be intimidating to paint a painting or make a coffee mug from clay. There’s no need to do something that sparks immense anxiety. However, you can challenge yourself a little bit.

See what it’s like to make something new:

1. Start easily. Begin by choosing a coloring book and your favorite color markers. You can work your way up from there. Eventually, you might try painting or sculpture!

○ The important thing is to choose something that is a different type of creative than you’re used to.

2. Reap the benefits:

○ Trying new creative endeavors leads to decreased anxiety and increased peace-of-mind.

○ Being creative means taking risks. It means believing in the impossible and dreaming the biggest dreams. By embracing new ways of thinking, your mind will awaken to new pathways of innovation.

○ Being creative also allows for faster and more effective problem solving, a critical skill for strong leaders.

This new type of experience will ripple into many aspects of your leadership style, enabling you to think in new ways.

BE FLEXIBLE

Part of creativity is the ability to be flexible, especially when challenges appear in your path.

Obstacles don’t mean that the path is ruined. Instead, obstacles tell us that there’s a more effective route to our goal. Sometimes obstacles lead us to the goal in a way we never would have seen without that hiccup. 

Try these strategies to strengthen your ability to be flexible:

1. Go with the flow. Because life is uncertain and (unfortunately) we can’t control everything, it’s especially important to remain flexible during times of stress or confusion. With constant upgrades in technology and efficiency, the way the team operates is constantly evolving.

2. Keep an open mind. Flexibility requires an ability to meet unusual circumstances with an open mind and motivation to push forward. Outstanding leaders respond to the needs of their team and take steps accordingly.

○ For example, when a potential issue appears, it may be necessary to set aside the planned work for the day to address this need.

○ Responding to this deviation can be handled calmly and seamlessly. Instead of resisting the current needs, embrace the new direction and see where it leads.

○ This tactic will also ensure that the highest priority items are done first, even if they sneak up. Teams run like a well-oiled machine when everyone is willing to have an open-mind.

3. Let go of expectations. As a leader, it’s important to be able to let go of certain expectations. This can be difficult to do, but it will help foster new ideas and attention to detail.

○ One behavior modification you can do today is imagine what it would be like to let go of expectations. You don’t even have to let go of the expectations yet. Simply imagine what it might be like to enter the day without expectations.

○ Let go of your idea of how the day must go. What would happen if you let go completely and addressed the present moment?

○ Instead of thinking five steps ahead of your current conversation, try focusing on each word and each idea as they come.

The ability to remain present in the moment is essential to remaining flexible.

○ By sticking to what you know now, you can choose your next step wisely.

Resisting the present moment is the fast lane to frustration. By letting go of your expectations, you can embrace the flexibility you need to lead others forward. You’re able to accept and address each moment as it comes.

 

HABIT #4: PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

 

Mindfulness has become hugely popular, and for good reason! There are many benefits to mindfulness that bring about noticeable change. The benefits of a regular and consistent mindfulness practice are overwhelming. Especially in moments of stress, this emotion-regulation tool brings about peace in the storm.

 

As a leader, it’s especially important to be able to stay calm and lead your team out of a crisis. The inner peace that mindfulness brings you is ideal in helping you through such situations.

 

By practicing mindfulness for just 10 minutes a day, you’ll enjoy the benefits that come with a consistent routine.

 

There are a number of easy ways to dive into a mindfulness practice.

 

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

 

Mindfulness meditation is a powerful way to embrace the miracle of mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn (an expert in mindfulness) defines mindfulness as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.”

 

The purpose of mindfulness meditation is to come to the present moment with awareness. There is no goal. The goal isn’t even to have no thoughts. It’s nearly impossible to have no thoughts. So, don’t worry when your mind wanders.

 

Discover how mindfulness meditation is as simple as breathing:

1. Get ready to meditate. Find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably on the floor or in a chair. Sit upright but remain comfortable. You can keep your eyes open and focus on one spot in front of you, or you can shut your eyes.

2. Next, focus on your breathing. Feel yourself inhaling. You can even think to yourself, “Oh, here I am, inhaling.” Exhale. Notice, “Oh, now I am exhaling.” Try to do this consistently.

3. Notice when your mind wanders. Your mind will naturally wander. The moment that you notice your mind wandering is the truest moment of awareness.

4. Bring your focus back to your breathing. You can gently return your focus to your breath. You haven’t failed at meditating. In fact, you’ve succeeded!

Mindfulness meditation strengthens focus – a change that occurs after just a couple of weeks of consistent meditation.

If you tend to be an anxious person, meditation is the right thing for you. It may seem daunting to sit quietly for more than just a few minutes, but you can work your way up to a time that you’re comfortable with. If you can stick through a sometimes uncomfortable beginning, a steady meditation practice will decrease anxiety the more you do it.

MINDFULNESS PRACTICES

Depending on your style and preferred coping skills, you can develop a mindfulness practice that consists of engaging activities that work for you.
By setting aside dedicated time to practice mindfulness each day (start with 5 minutes!), a residual calmness will wash over the rest of your day.

Try these mindfulness practices:

1. Sort buttons. One fun mindfulness practice requires one big jar and a lot of buttons. Dump out all of the buttons and then organize them into whatever categories you want. Arrange them by size, shape, color, in order from smallest to largest, or anything you want.

The point is to get lost in the moment and focus on what is right in front of you. Instead of leaving your current moment and jumping back in time or far into the future, try seeing what it feels like to really be here right now.

○ Arranging buttons may not seem like much, but you might find that it’s the break you really need.

2. Pursue creative activities. When you embrace your creativity and pursue creative endeavors, you can practice mindfulness.

○ Try coloring in a coloring book for 10 minutes.

○ You can paint a painting with your favorite colors and pay careful attention to each brush stroke. Be intentional with each color. Really feel what it’s like to hold a paintbrush in your hand.

3. Get back to nature. Perhaps you need a break to go breathe fresh air in nature. Whether you take your dog to the dog park, head to the beach, or go for hike, immersing yourself in nature is a great way to practice mindfulness.

○ There is something very healing about being outside and feeling free.

○ Spend time each week in nature, observing the wonders of life going on around you.

MINDFULNESS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

If you don’t want to carve out specific time to do a mindfulness activity, you can find ways to seamlessly integrate mindfulness into your existing daily routines.

Try these strategies:

1. Start by brushing your teeth. While you brush your teeth, try focusing on the bristles on your gums, or the taste of the minty toothpaste on your toothbrush. Maybe you can smell the minty freshness filling your mouth. Maybe you hear the bristles brushing in small circles, just like your dentist always reminds you.

2. Take your dog for a walk. While you walk, simply focus on details of the landscape right in front of you. Try not to bother yourself with the typical commentary that occurs throughout the day. As you walk, observe.

○ Observe the colors of the leaves, the sounds of the cars, and the barking from other dogs as you walk past them. You can focus on your heels hitting the ground, and then your toes.

Simply take in, with all of your senses, exactly what is occurring in the present moment.

○ When your mind wanders, simply notice and return your attention to what is going on in the present moment.

3. Eat mindfully. Mindful eating is a wonderful way to practice mindfulness. So frequently, we find ourselves rushing through our meal, talking with others, or even doing work while eating. Rarely do we truly pay attention to each bite we take and each taste we taste.

○ Pay close attention to your food. Take in each smell and texture of every bite.

Outstanding leaders practice mindfulness. And their team members receive the benefits of this practice. By practicing mindfulness, you’ll be able to retain an open mind and clear head. When facing obstacles, you won’t be met with stress. Instead, a consistent calm will remain in the moment and it will be easy to focus on the task at hand.

Because mindfulness so improves attention, you may begin noticing things you’ve never seen before. Attention to detail is a skill best developed through mindfulness.

You’ll also notice greater feelings of fulfillment and fewer feelings of pressure or stress. Your ability to regulate emotion, manage stress, and stay calm will radiate from you.

This sort of energy is contagious, and soon your whole team will also feel at ease. Mindfulness will enable you to create a culture of calm. By doing so, you’re creating a team of people who are secure and willing. This can lead to powerful new ideas that will continue to make the world a better place. 

HABIT #5: TRUST OTHERS

 

Sometimes, being a leader means taking a step back. While taking on a new challenge it can be best to give your team members the opportunity to embrace new growth.
Follow these strategies to empower your team and lead them to greater success.

 

DELEGATE

 

Instead of taking the lead as you usually do, let another hard worker take a stab at it. Delegating allows you to get work done through the efforts of collaborative teamwork.

 

Your leadership will shine brightest through the accomplishments of others. Watch the magic that can happen when you give your team the power to adventure to their own success.

 

Delegation fosters a culture of trust throughout the community. When you demonstrate trust in others, they will trust you in return. The appreciation of respect and trust will lead to positive steps forward and new developments.

 

Trust is one of the keys of developing a well-functioning and dedicated team. When team members appreciate and help one another, more work will get done because there is less fear associated with work pressures.

EMPOWER YOUR TEAM

Allowing others to take the reins can at first seem counter intuitive. If you already know how to do something well, it can be difficult to let someone who doesn’t know how to do it take an attempt.

However, this practice is important. By allowing others to take new leaps, they will feel more secure in pursuing the team’s mission.

Finding creative ways to empower a team can be difficult. The most important thing to do is acknowledge hard work. You don’t need to provide positive praise every day, or even every week. But it’s important to voice appreciation for those who go above and beyond.

ALLOW ROOM FOR INNOVATION

A culture of trust and follow-through will develop leaders within the community. These leaders will inspire their peers. This spread out leadership leads to a special kind of collaboration. When all parties feel present, valued, and empowered, new innovations can take place.

See how this transformation happens:

1. Get started. At first, new ideas and taking risks can seem intimidating or daunting. It’s easier to stick to the tried and true ways of doing things. But what if there’s something better? What if there’s something right under your nose that could change the world?

2. The best way to brilliance is with a team of dedicated people:

○ In an environment that feels safe and non-judgmental, people are more likely to communicate while collaborating with each other. Peers will create small thinktanks, where no one is afraid of a bad idea. The very best ideas frequently evolve from an original not-so-awesome idea.

○ Collaboration ensures movement towards big, creative goals. With greater connectivity, resources for growth are plentiful.

3. Think long term. With each passing year there is even more inspiring innovation. That innovation was born out of brave leaders taking leaps. The future is happening in every moment. There is constant newness. Constant freshness. Always forward.

Allowing everyone on your team to be a leader and giving everyone the power to pursue growth inevitably leads to innovation. As their leader, you’ve inspired those around you to create this environment of success.

GIVE DIRECTION

Have no fear, letting others take new risks doesn’t mean that you have to stand by while mistakes are made. These situations are great chances for you to provide guidance and mentorship.

You can always teach something new to those you lead. As a leader, you have the opportunity to guide those who have never walked the path that you have.

Combining the wisdom of experience and the clarity of newness gives a fresh perspective on the big picture.

You will also benefit by allowing yourself to be flexible and open minded while learning from those you lead.

HABIT #6: BE AUTHENTIC

 

See how living according to your values supports being authentic: 

 

1. Your values can remind you to be authentic. If your values are based on the person you truly are (or the person you’re growing into), allowing them to guide you is a great way to remind yourself to stay authentic.

 

○ When you stray from your values (as we all do from time to time, or from minute to minute), you can check-in with yourself to evaluate whether you’re truly being authentic.

 

○ For example, after you’ve left an interaction, you can check in with yourself – “Did I stand strong? Did I show up to the present moment?”

 

○ When the answer to these questions is no, you don’t need to be hard on yourself. It’s sometimes difficult to be authentic. In times of anxiety or stress, it’s easy to fall into people-pleasing behaviors. Sometimes the ego takes over, especially in positions of leadership.

 

○ Remember to be self-compassionate when you find that you were actually worried more about looking good than you were about being authentic.

 

2. Being authentic doesn’t mean you need to share your deepest personal details with everyone you meet.

 

○ Every interaction you have may have a different tone – casual, familial, professional, even cold – each of these calls for authenticity in a slightly different way.

 

○ You can be authentic in a setting that is appropriate professionally. Remain authentic at work by allowing your core values to guide you. Perhaps in a work setting your vocabulary or tone of voice changes. That’s okay. You’re being authentic as long as you are shining through.

 

Leaders who remain true to their authentic selves are likely to be well-respected and well-liked.

 

By owning your true self and acting according to your values, other wonderful things will happen. A feeling of ease will permeate through the workspace. Since there isn’t a secret persona you’re trying to pull off, you don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not.

 

Authenticity means accepting exactly who you are and showing up to each present moment.

 

Practicing authenticity requires self-compassion. Being self-compassionate is another challenging task that seems obvious, but doesn’t always come naturally. 

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Brene Brown defines authenticity as:

”A collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”

SELF-COMPASSION

Self-compassion is pivotal to authenticity because it allows us to be okay with being ourselves.

Plus, part of being a truly outstanding leader is having compassion - for others and for yourself. By changing your negative self-talk and addressing your downfalls with compassion instead of self-criticism, you’ll notice an obvious shift towards positivity.

Self-compassion builds resilience, it increases productivity, and it decreases negative rumination.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher who has taken on the study of self-compassion, explains self-compassion. She says, “instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings.”

In her book, Self-Compassion, Dr. Neff outlines three elements of self-compassion:

● Self-kindness 

● Common humanity

● Mindfulness

Let’s look closer at these qualities of self-compassion:

1. Self-kindness. When you make a mistake on your leadership journey, be grateful for an opportunity to practice self-compassion by changing your self-talk.

○ Changing your self-talk is a process. It begins by observing when you’re being critical. And then you replace those critical thoughts with self-loving thoughts. Eventually, this process will become automatic.

○ Follow these steps:

i. Be aware. Notice your self-talk when you’re in a negative head space after making a mistake.

ii. Observe the negative feeling. If you find yourself repeating negative phrases to yourself, take a moment to bring your awareness to that line of thinking.

iii. Change your thought. Try writing down one of those negative thoughts. Next to it, write down an opposite and true positive phrase that you can repeat to yourself instead.

2. Common humanity. Feeling negative about ourselves can often be isolating. A key part of self-compassion is recognizing the common humanity that runs through all humans.

○ When you make a mistake, or something doesn’t go as planned, see what it’s like to feel a sense of connection with all who have felt the way you do.

○ Practicing this over time leads to more compassion for others. When your teammates make a mistake or take the wrong route, you’ll be more forgiving and less blaming.

3. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is another major factor in self-compassion. When you approach a situation with mindfulness, you’ll find that you won’t feel so wrapped up in the situation.

○ You can use mindfulness when you’re having a whirlwind of  negative self-talk. Instead of letting your thoughts sweep you away into a black hole of self-doubt, try coming into a mindful awareness of your thoughts.

○ This will help you put things into perspective and take a step back.

SELF-COMPASSION EXERCISES

There are simple exercises that you can do in order to make self-compassion a part of your regular thought processes. You can set aside time, or you can integrate self-compassion into your daily life.

Try these techniques to increase your self-compassion: 

1. Go out to eat. Take yourself out for your favorite food and keep the thought in your mind that you’re doing it because you love yourself. During your meal, repeat self-loving phrases. Try to go the whole meal just saying nice things to yourself.

○ If you have a hard time coming up with nice things to say about yourself on the spot, try writing yourself a short note or letter stating objective facts, such as “I have potential. I am capable. I am a hard worker.”

○ You can also refer to this note during times of stress or feelings of failure.

2. Meditate. Starting a meditation practice, as we’ve already learned, has many benefits. One of them is an increase in self-compassion.

 

○ During your meditation practice, try repeating a positive mantra to yourself. It should be simple, believable, and easy to remember. You can bring this mantra with you and think of it throughout the day.

 

3. Remind yourself how great you are. A great way to remember to pause for self-compassion is by setting reminders on your phone to go off a few times a day. When you hear your phone ding, you can use that small interruption to say some kind phrases to yourself.

 

You’re not the only one who will feel better as a result of self-compassion. Those you lead will reap the benefits as well. You may even notice that your ability to be kind to yourself inspires others to do the same.

 

It’s a common misconception that beating ourselves up leads to less mistakes in the future. Unfortunately, there will always be mistakes in the future. Always. That’s part of life.

 

This is where having a self-compassion practice comes in handy.

 

By starting a self-compassion practice now, you’ll handle future hurdles with ease.

 

Self-compassion also gives us the ability to communicate authentically. We may say something we regret or suggest a bad idea. Self-compassion allows us to move on from that moment and on to the next. It provides the courage needed to take risks and communicate.  

COMMUNICATE

Authenticity requires clear communication. While it’s a good thing that others cannot read minds, it can be frustrating when you want them to exactly understand your vision. In order to get your message across, you’ll need to develop ways to help others understand your goals.

Better yet, let them be a part of the goal-making process. Get insight from others and give direct, thoughtful feedback on their ideas.

Include these ideas in your daily interactions to strengthen your ability to communicate clearly:

1. Listen. A huge part of communication is listening. By listening to others and observing their actions, you’re able to gain knowledge of what they do or do not understand.

Others can tell when you’re not listening to them. They’ll act accordingly, and that’s how miscommunication begins.

○ It’s a good practice to only have one conversation at a time. This allows all parties to feel like they’re getting the attention they deserve so they can have their voice heard.

○ While others are talking, taking brief notes will help you comprehend and remember the information.

2. Pay attention to your body language. Body Language plays a large role in communication. In fact, over half of our communication is nonverbal. When you’re communicating, ensure your body language is communicating your ideas accurately.

○ Keep an open and upright posture and make eye contact.

3. Understand what you may need to communicate. Before you pass along a plan, project, or idea, work on clarifying it for yourself before giving it to others. It might be helpful to write down key points, words, or goals so you can have guideposts while communicating.

Communication is essential to progress. In order to move forward effectively and authentically, communication is key. When you say something, let your actions communicate your ideas as well. Take a moment to come back to your breath, asses your values, and take on a fresh perspective.

Authenticity isn’t easy. Outstanding leaders have the courage to be fearlessly authentic in all areas of their lives. It takes practice, selfcompassion, patience, and willingness. However, the payoff is worth every moment of uncomfortable learning. 

HABIT #7: EXERCISE

 

Healthy leaders are happy leaders. And happy leaders are effective and productive. A great way to achieve a positive state of mind and body is through exercise.
Regular exercise does more than boost your metabolism and muscle strength. It also lifts your mood and gives you energy.


MENTAL HEALTH


Exercise is one of the most effective ways to amplify positive mental states. Besides lifting your mood, exercise also helps with depression, anxiety, and ADHD.


By exercising, you are increasing blood flow to the brain. This increase in blood flow leads to the production of chemicals that make you happy. For example, serotonin is released when you engage in physical exercise. The production of serotonin helps for depressed states because when people are depressed, less serotonin is produced.


There are a number of workouts that especially increase mood, such as Yoga.


Here’s how Yoga can help:


● By taking an hour to go to a Yoga class, you’re giving yourself the gift of mindfulness. Yoga is a great mindfulness and exercise activity because you’re focused solely on your body and what it can do.

 

● Listening to or watching the instructor and then following the movements requires immense focus. You may notice that during Yoga class you lose track of time or forget to think. This is because you’re fully in the present moment, not bogged down by outside distractions.

 

● With Yoga, you don’t need to put too much pressure on yourself to be more flexible than you are. You can practice accepting yourself just the way you are, knowing that you’re always growing.

 

● Yoga takes patience, and the best place to practice that patience is with yourself.

 

● Take an opportunity to be self-compassionate and think about all of the amazing things your body is capable of. It’s okay to sit down and take a break on your mat during yoga class. If there’s a move you can’t do, you can simply give yourself permission to take it easy and only do as much as you can do.  

Cardiovascular routines such as running, hiking, boxing, and dancing also have wonderful mood-boosting benefits that you’ll feel during the work out, after the work out, and consistently with regular practice.

You can start by getting your body moving for 30 minutes a day just a few times a week.

There’s no need to run a marathon the first time you put on running shoes. Go easy on yourself. It won’t take long into your workout for you to notice that you’re feeling clear headed. Endorphins are being released in your brain. This collection of brain chemicals directly increases your energy level and mood.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

When you first start exercising, it works well to set small goals for yourself and your exercise routine. Start with a 30-minute outdoor walk with your dog. Work your way up to longer work out sessions.

Move toward just one goal at a time, building upon success after success.

Joining a gym is a great way to get some accountability to your goals. You can get to know a community of healthy people and use the gym resources to learn about new workouts and how to be healthier.

Does the idea of joining a gym make you feel uncomfortable?

These tips can help:

● It can be intimidating to join a gym, or even enter the doors. Don’t worry, you don’t need to wait until you’re in shape to feel comfortable working out.

● One way to start getting comfortable with the gym is by going in and asking for a tour when you get your membership. Ask questions and be observant. This is a great way to get to know a staff member, and it will help you feel more comfortable asking questions in the future.

● Once you have your gym membership, the next step is going to the gym. Start by telling yourself that all you have to do is walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes. No one is timing your workout, so you don’t need to feel shame about how long you’re in the gym.

● If all you do is walk on the treadmill for 10 minutes, you’ve had a successful work out. You’ve conquered the fear that so many have when going to the gym. Remember, these feelings of insecurity are a great way to connect to common humanity.

You can rest assured knowing that nearly everyone in the gym is or has been just as intimidated as you are. Use this as a way to connect to those around you.

Feel inspired to take better care of your body! Enjoy the mental and physical benefits that exercise can bring you. Step up to a higher plane in your leadership abilities.

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com/contact

Author

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Elevate Your Life!

Sign up for my monthly newsletter and receive the best and most up to date news to contribute the BEST to this world, and  to LEAD in(to) the future.

6 Ways How To Boost Your Income

wordswag_1523298219771

6 Ways to Get a Pay Rise You Deserve

In the current weak economy, perhaps you feel grateful that you even have a job, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for and receive a raise. When the economy is struggling, a salary increase is an especially nice thing to have. There is almost always the possibility of a raise for employees with exceptional value and a certain amount of negotiating finesse.

Timing is important; it’s best to act when your perceived value is at its greatest. For many, that will mean right after a great review or after/during your involvement in a critical project. On the other hand, immediately after a major layoff or the loss of a significant client usually isn’t an opportune time to ask.

Keep the timing in mind and get busy building a case to justify your raise!

Using these strategies will help you get the raise you deserve:

1. Be an expert on your company and boss. Learn about the prosperity of your company and any limitations that may have been imposed upon salaries. What kind of person is your boss? Will she care that you had to take out a home equity loan and now you’re struggling to make the payments? Some bosses do care about personal issues; many others do not.

➡ Consider what will be most meaningful to your boss. Is he a numbers driven guy? If yes, you should back up your request with cold, hard facts. Does she tend to focus on cost-savings? Think about how you’ve saved the company money in the recent past. Always consider what your boss values the most.

2. Leverage your talent. Finding and retaining great talent is typically the biggest challenge that companies face, regardless of the company size, industry, or current economic conditions.

➡ When times are tough, good companies don’t lose sight of the fact that they must have the right people when things pick up.

➡ Avoid underestimating your value to your company. The act of asking for raise might cause them to be concerned that you’re thinking about leaving; this can be a good thing for you.

3. Show your worth. Make a list of your accomplishments and ensure your boss knows about them. When times are tough, if companies are going to reward anyone, it’s going to be those folks that produce the greatest value for them.

➡ Consider what makes you indispensable. If you realize that you’re not indispensable, start looking for things that will increase your necessity to the company.

✦ What can you do that no one else is capable of doing or that no one else wants to do?
✦ What has changed since your last raise?
✦ What new responsibilities do you now have?
✦ Are you being required to take work home at night?
✦ Do you have more employees reporting to you?
✦ Are you forced to travel more?

➡ If your responsibilities have increased significantly, you can make a good case for deserving an increase in your salary.

4. Demonstrate that you care. The very best employees also tend to be those that care the most about the company. Employers know which employees are genuinely interested in the success of the company beyond simply getting their paychecks.

➡ What are you doing to show you care?

➡ How do you represent the company to your friends, family, and the community-at-large?

➡ Do you volunteer for company sponsored events?

5. Maintain a positive attitude. When times are difficult, it can be challenging to remain upbeat. It’s hard for everyone, and companies don’t want to deal with complaining employees. If you keep a positive approach, you’ll be viewed as part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

➡ Although you might not be thrilled to go to work, companies prefer to believe that employees are there because they love being there. That means always getting to work on time and not heading for the parking lot at exactly 5:00 every day.

6. You have to actually ask. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Asking for a raise is, at best, an uncomfortable experience. But if you feel that you genuinely deserve it, you owe it to yourself and your family to go for it. Gather the information you need and set a goal to ask by a certain date.

➡ Practice in front of the mirror or with a friend or family member. During your daily commute, recite what you’re going to say to your boss. Knowing what you’re going to say will help to take the edge off any nerves. You can do it!

➡ Have a number in mind. Simply stating, “I’d like a raise” isn’t as effective as saying, “I’d like a $6,500 raise; here’s why I think I deserve it.” Determine a specific amount that you believe you can justify and present your case.

Challenging economic times don’t eliminate the possibility of a receiving a raise. There will be fewer raises given out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be one of the few to receive one. Don’t underestimate the value that excellent employees provide to their companies. If you can show your value, you’re far more likely to be successful.

So consider all the ways in which you are an excellent employee and be sure your boss is aware of them. Frequently, bosses are so caught up in their own challenges that they haven’t really considered all the duties and responsibilities for which you are responsible; educate them and then ask for that raise. You’ll be glad you did!

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps people to be ELEVATED above the current state of thinking and behaving, so that they contribute their BEST to this world, and to LEAD in(to) the future!

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

18 Proven Ways To Overcome Your Fear Now

wordswag_1521366878522[1]

Overcome Fear with Powerful Habits

Fears become ingrained very quickly, because avoiding the thing that causes the fear makes the fear stronger.

Imagine that you’re considering asking your boss for a raise. You quickly feel a twinge of fear. If you avoid asking for that raise, you instantly feel better. Your brain just got a quick lesson on how to make you feel better: feel afraid, the behavior is avoided, feel better.

Avoidance is a drug of sorts. It’s a quick way to instantly relieve yourself of fear. The best way to ensure you’ll avoid a behavior is to generate the physical sensations of fear. It’s a challenging cycle to break.

In this article we'll look into:

  • How courage and acceptance can help you overcome fear and
  • Ways how to overcome specific fears like public speaking and heights.

 

Develop Courage

Those with courage aren’t without fear. If you weren’t afraid, you wouldn’t need courage in the first place!

Courage is acting in the presence of fear.

Courage is ultimately a habit that must be cultivated daily until it becomes automatic.

Try These Strategies to Develop Your Courage:

1. Confront your fear. Our natural instincts are to run the other way. Try holding your ground for a change. Feel the fear in your body. Avoid distracting yourself or avoiding the situation. Just sit with those uncomfortable feelings and give them your full attention. Notice how those feelings dissipate within a few minutes.

2. Expect success. Things generally seem to work out for the best in the end. Expect a positive outcome and fear is difficult to maintain.

3. Stay with reality. How many failures have you had in life that created long-term challenges for you? Very few. It’s easy to create disastrous scenarios in your mind, but that’s the only place they exist. Realistically, you have little to risk in most situations. The most fearful situations have the biggest rewards.

○ Evaluate the risk/reward ratio for your situation. Try to make a logical decision and ignore what your body is telling you. Your body is lying to you.

4. Challenge yourself. Fears go away when you keep pushing forward. When fear fails to stop you from acting, your brain will realize it’s a strategy that simply doesn’t work anymore.

It’s worth the effort to learn how to act more courageously on a consistent basis. It’s one habit that carries over to every part of your life. When fear is no longer steering your decisions, life becomes much easier.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’"
- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Learn Dealing With Discomfort

You wouldn’t let a stubbed toe or sore shoulder stop you from getting things done. So, there’s no reason why a few butterflies in your stomach should be an obstacle. Keep in mind that fear is just a physical sensation. It doesn’t have to direct your actions.

Make discomfort your friend: 

5. Be excited. When you’re experiencing discomfort, it means you’re doing something that can make a real difference in your life. When you spend an entire day feeling a little bit of discomfort, you can bet that good things are happening.

6. Relax. Relax your shoulders and all the other muscles in your body. That tenseness that occurs when you’re afraid sets off a chain reaction that creates even more discomfort.

○ You can relieve a lot of your discomfort by simply relaxing your muscles.

7. Breathe. Shallow, uneven breathing creates physiological changes that create more physical discomfort. Your breathing is one thing that you can control. Take deeper, slower breaths and watch what happens.

8. Be curious. Instead of putting yourself into a state of mental distress when the uncomfortable body feelings begin, ask yourself a few questions.

○ “That’s an interesting feeling. I wonder why I’m feeling this way?”

“What is the worst that can happen? How could I handle that?”

“How great will I feel if I don’t give up this time?”

By directing your attention, you can stop the fear from growing out of control.

9. Stay present. Fear grows when you allow your thoughts to drift to unpleasant places. Keep your mind focused on the present moment. Avoid imagining the worst.

Discomfort can be your friend.

The most successful people often report that they’re afraid all the time. They have learned how to accept it and continue forward.

“We don't develop courage by being happy every day. We develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.”
- Barbara De Angeli

 

Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking

Public speaking is one of the most common fears. Overcoming this fear can be challenging, but incredibly rewarding. By getting at the underlying root of the problem, mainly the fear of humiliation and rejection, you’ll get a good start on eliminating many other social-based fears.

Developing these habits will help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

10. Introduce yourself. Whenever you’re at a party, standing in line at the store, or in the presence of anyone you don’t know, introduce yourself immediately. Avoid giving yourself any time to change your mind.

○ You’ll quickly realize that no one will reject you. People aren’t something that you need to avoid. After 50 positive experiences, you’ll worry much less about rejection.

11. Speak up at meetings. Start with smaller meetings and eventually move up to larger, town hall-type gatherings. Ask a simple question or make a relevant comment. After several experiences without any negative outcomes, you’ll begin to feel more comfortable and confident.

12. Begin and end each day with visualization. Spend five minutes each morning and evening imagining yourself giving a presentation. Vary the group size and the topic of the speech. Picture your audience captivated by your words. Feel their support and enthusiasm. Allow yourself to feel poised and confident.

○ This process can require a few weeks to make a significant. difference, but you’ll grow accustomed to speaking to groups and expecting success. When you expect the best to happen, there’s no room for fear to survive.

13. Repeat affirmations throughout the day. Constantly tell yourself that you’re a great public speaker and you’re brimming with confidence. Here are a few ideas:

“Others love to listen to me speak.”

○ “I feel most confident when sharing my thoughts and ideas publicly.”

○ “I enjoy the attention I receive while giving a presentation.”

○ “I love people and they love me.” 

○ Make a list of affirmations and repeat them to yourself regularly. Remember, you talk to yourself all day long! Try to avoid going more than five minutes without reciting an affirmation in your self-talk.

14. Speak to groups regularly. Join Toastmasters International and make speeches on a regular basis. You’ll get feedback from experts and give presentations in a comfortable environment. One of the best ways to get over a fear of something is to do it regularly.

Overcoming a fear of public speaking can be a huge enhancement to your life. You’ll be more comfortable in social situations, and your career will receive a great boost!

“Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness, of hatred, of jealousy, and, most easily of all, the gate of fear.”
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

 

Overcome Your Fear of Heights

You can create a set of habits that will have you peering over the edge of a skyscraper in no time.

 Give these tips a try:

15. Spend some time each day looking at pictures and videos that create fear in you. YouTube has countless videos of crazy teenagers jumping from rooftop to rooftop. You can also find videos of people climbing radio antennas, skydiving, or doing handstands on the edges of tall buildings.

○ Force yourself to watch videos and view pictures that make you “weak in the knees” each day. Keep watching until your fear response dissipates.

16. Put yourself in real situations. Whether it’s a rotating restaurant on the 70th floor or a grain silo, expose yourself to heights on a regular basis. You might start by looking out the second floor of a building and add a floor every few days.

 17. Tell yourself that heights are exciting to you. There’s a fine line between excitement and fear. The physical sensations are remarkably similar; it’s the expectation that differs.

18. Visualize yourself in situations that involve heights. Remind yourself that you’re safe, but make the imagery as vivid as possible. See yourself handling the situation bravely and comfortably.

○ In time, you’ll behave the same way when faced with real situations. Practice daily and you’ll be rewarded handsomely.

Life favors the bold.

Fears can be systematically defeated and habits can be a critical component of that process. Use the suggestions in this book to help desensitize you to your fear. Repeat these actions over and over again, until they become habits, then rejoice as you see your fear dissipate!

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

The Truth About Fears

wordswag_1520756634259

Fear is a driving force for much of human behavior. Studies show that most people will do more to avoid pain than they will to gain pleasure. Pain is a significant component of decision-making.

Learning to overcome fear has numerous advantages and makes life more fulfilling. Imagine making a decision based on achieving what you desire rather than avoiding what you fear.

Common Fears that Drive Us

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of physical harm
  • Fear of Flying or Height
  • Fear of public speaking or public places
  • Fear of financial challenges
  • Fear of exam taking
  • Fear of losing a loved one
  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear of letting others down

Our fears control our behavior.

If there’s something you want to do, but don’t, fear is likely the cause. Mediocrity is one of the primary symptoms of a life directed by fear. How much does fear drive your decisions? If you’re being honest with yourself, fear is a significant part of your life.

Fear leads to less than optimal decisions and outcomes. When choices are made that accommodate fears, the best solution isn’t utilized.

When we avoid fear, our self-esteem takes a hit, too. We know what we should do, but we’re not quite “brave” enough to make it happen.

Fortunately, dealing with fear is a skill. Sure, some people are naturally more fear resistant than others, just as some people can naturally jump higher than others. But you can learn to feel less fear and learn to act despite fear.

Fear and the response to fear become habits over time. You can create new habits to bypass the fear response. New habits can also be developed to grow your courage.

“Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying 
 new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. 
 And most importantly, be kind to others, 
 even if you don't like them.”

- Stacy London

What Are Fears?

For our purposes, let’s define fear as an uncomfortable feeling that inhibits your desire to do something.

Like all emotions, fear only exists within your body. It’s a self-generated discomfort. That physical discomfort encourages you to avoid the person, thing, or situation that triggers that uncomfortable feeling.

How do you experience fear?

Some common fear symptoms include:

Queasy feeling in stomach
Rapid heartbeat
Sweaty palms
Shaky hands
Hyperventilation
Hot flashes or chills
Tightness in chest

 

These are all responses designed to keep you safe from a perceived danger. Unfortunately, most fear responses are misguided.

There isn’t a whole lot to fear in modern society compared to 10,000 years ago.

We have access to food, shelter, clothing, and few threats of violence. Nearly anyone with a job can be quite self-sufficient in any first-world country.
This hasn’t always been the case.

“Remember your dreams and fight for them. 
 You must know what you want from life. 
 There is just one thing that makes your dream 
 become impossible: the fear of failure.”

How Are Fears Formed?

Some fears are natural. It’s been suggested that there are only two fears that are instilled at birth: the fear of losing your balance and the fear of loud noises.

A few fears may be a part of our evolution.

For example, it’s believed that the fear of rejection may have evolved. While we can take care of ourselves in most situations today, the same wasn’t true long ago. If you weren’t part of a tribe, you were doomed. Rejection by the group meant almost certain death. Now it just means you might have to spend the night watching Netflix by yourself.

While a baby might be startled from a loud noise, he isn’t the least bit alarmed by a tiger, heights, snakes, spiders, or crowds. These fears are learned. Babies don’t fear rejection or humiliation. These are learned, too.

Fears are developed through negative experiences. Perhaps you tried playing softball as a child and blew an easy out to first. Your teammates yelled at you, and now the thought of playing softball again makes you feel a little queasy.

These experiences are often imagined. For example, you might be afraid of heights because you’ve imagined yourself slipping and falling off the edge of a building. Or maybe you’re afraid of reaching out to others because you repeatedly imagine rejection and the resulting emotional pain.

Your negative experiences create your fears. It doesn’t matter whether those experiences actually happened, or whether you created them in your mind.

Fear Creates Challenges

Aristotle believed that courage was the greatest of all human virtues. Courage makes all the other virtues possible. Fears make life more challenging because you avoid doing those things that can make your life better.

Fear can impact your life in a variety of ways:

Prevent you from pursuing a promotion

  • Prevent you from meeting the partner of your dreams
  • Stop you from getting on a plane and visiting new places
  • Make you avoid social situations
  • Keep you from trying certain careers

Fears can be the origin of financial, social, and general life challenges. When you’re not doing the things you want to do, or the things you need to do, you’re going to suffer at some point.
Fear can lead to drug use, overeating, compulsive shopping, and other disadvantageous behaviors.

“When we tackle obstacles, we find hidden reserves of courage and resilience we did not know we had. And it is only when we are faced with failure do we realize that these resources were always there within us. We only need to find them and move on with our lives.”

-A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

How to Control Your Mind To Make Better Decisions

drew-patrick-miller-29382-unsplash

Tim Ferriss quotes in his ted talk "Why you should define your fears instead of your goals" the famous Stoic Roman Philosopher Seneca:

We suffer more in our imaginary, then in reality.

Being stoic in an ever changing and uncontrollable world means to accept what you can't influence and control what you can control: Your Mind. With rational thinking we can create better outcomes and change our environment and the world around us.

Another important aspect in decisions making is to consider, how people around you change as a result of your decision.

The following self-reflections, I share with my private clients, are guiding you to improve your decisions making to create the success and happiness you want.

I control my mind before making decisions.

I make wise decisions because I take time to evaluate the possible outcomes of my actions. Actions have consequences; therefore I plan mine with care.

Making choices abruptly in the heat of the moment often leads to regret. I shield myself from shame by being quick to listen and slow to speak. Reacting in situations often has negative consequences because that is when feelings take over reason.

By giving myself time to cool down, I enable myself to think clearly and logically about situations. Once I have reached an objective state of mind, I weigh the pros and cons of the actions I am considering.

In my mind, I walk through the events that may follow after my decision. When I play scenes in my head, I can get a better idea of how things may work out. I use this information when making choices.

A large part of making wise decisions is to speak with other people who have been in similar situations. By listening to the experiences of others, I learn about actions and consequences.

When I become informed on a subject, I equip myself with knowledge to make wise decisions. I read books, ask questions, and pray or meditate about my decisions before I make them.

It is important to me to make decisions that benefit those I care about as well as myself. Although I know I cannot always please everyone around me, I strive to be considerate of the people I love.

Today, I choose to pause before making important choices, and consider a number of possible outcomes. I ask for help and seek guidance in decision making from people I respect.

Self-Reflection Questions:
1. What important decision do I need to make right now?
2. Who can I ask for guidance?
3. Why is it important to give myself time and space for objectivity in the decision-making process?

How do Highly Successful People Make Decisions?

Highly successful people tend to make decisions quickly and rarely change their minds.

Do you have these traits - or do you struggle to make decisions and then waffle back and forth afterward? Having a decision making process to follow can be a faster and more effective alternative.
Try this proven process to make wise decisions:

 

  • Set a deadline and stick to it. Is spending another week in turmoil really going to help you make up your mind?

 

  • Make a list of pros and cons to clarify your choices. Draw a line down the middle of your page and put the pros on one side and the cons on the other for each option.

 

  • Avoid allowing fear to paralyze you. A fear of change can prevent you from seriously considering any of your options and keep you from making any decision at all

 

  • Which option is most supportive of your long-term goals?

 

  • Project into the future and imagine how you'll feel about your choice

 

  • Realize that it doesn't matter (much). When you're faced with a couple of good choices, either choice may work out fine. Simply making the choice and following through consistently will yield great results.

 

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

Know it All: How to Make Good Decisions Faster

jens-lelie-15662-unsplash[1]

"I am often in a situation in which I have to make fast decisions. How can I make it roughly right ?", a client I coach, asked me in my neuroscience coaching.

According to novel laureate Daniel Kahneman there are two thinking systems which influence our decision making. System 1 is fast, automatic, emotional, and prone to errors while System 2 is slow, rational, logical, and precise.

You can compare them with an automatic camera setting (System 1) which operates very well most of the time. If a genuine new event comes then you may manually adjust your camera (System 2) to make the best shot.

Fast Decisions? Good Decisions? Why Not Both?

The quality of your life is a function of the quality of your decisions. Consistently making good decisions results in a pretty good life! By the same token, poor decisions leave us wishing we’d made better decisions.

It’s important to make decisions as quickly as possible, too. In most cases, taking longer than necessary to make up your mind leads to confusion and wasted time.

So, for your best results, your goal is to make good decisions quickly.

Try these tips for making wise decisions in the shortest amount of time:

1. Know your values. If you’re struggling to make a decision, there’s an excellent chance that you’re not clear about what’s important to you. If you’re torn between several options, think about your values and let your decision support them.

2. Give yourself a gut check. Some choices simply feel better than others. It can be helpful to take a few moments and find a quiet place where you can be alone. Think about your choices and see what your body is telling you.

  • That uncomfortable, queasy feeling that we’ve all experienced is a sign that you’re probably not on the right track.
  • Your gut can be a better tool than you might think. You’ve made many decisions over the course of your life. Some of them better than others. Your subconscious has gained a lot of experience over the years. It will communicate with you, if you’ll listen.

3. Get the information you need. Avoid trying to make decisions until you have any information that is critical to analyzing your options. Find out what you need to know.

4. Try tallying. Benjamin Franklin was an advocate of making decisions with lists of pros and cons. He admitted to making all of his decisions in this fashion. So make a list and see what you discover. Simply by asking yourself the questions, “What’s good (or bad) about this?” will lead you to new perspectives.

5. Get practice with less important decisions. It might be a little nerve-wracking to make important decisions quickly, so practice with less important decisions.

  • Practice will strengthen your decision-making skills. Decide what you’re going to have for lunch in ten seconds or less. Choose your clothes quickly.

6. Rely on chance. If you can’t decide between multiple options and have tried everything else, why not give chance a chance? Consider that if you can’t make up your mind, all the options are probably equally good or bad. Why waste any more time? Roll some dice or draw your options from a hat.

  • Making a decision is almost always better than not deciding anything at all. If you can’t figure out what to do, do something.

7. Give yourself a time limit. All tasks tend to take up the full amount of time allocated to them. If you had a school paper due in 2 months, were you working on it right away or did you wait 7+ weeks? If you tell yourself you have a month to make up your mind, it will surely take a month. Decide how much time you actually need and set a deadline.

It’s important to be able  to make wise decisions and stand by them. Good decisions can be made quickly.

In most cases, taking an excessive amount of time to make a choice rarely results in a better decision.

If you’re clear about who you are, what’s important to you, and where you’re going, then making good decisions quickly isn’t only possible, it’s likely.

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

 

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

 

 

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

Leadership Insider: 3 Powerful Habits of Zen

jeremy-bishop-332050[1]

"I rarely have time for myself!", a client I coach - a CEO in the petroleum industry, complained. 

It seems he's busy every moment. It is already his habit of being, there's always so much to do and so little time.

"Have you heard that google has incorporated the secular form of mindfulness to help employees become more productive?", I asked him gently.

Even leading executives talk about why meditation is essential both to their jobs and to how they live their lives.

Perhaps you're reading this because you feel rushed yourself and want to slow down and reap the benefits of being still with yourself.

Zen and a new Habit of Leadership

You can be quiet in body and quiet in mind. Both are important. Being still physically saves you a lot of energy and effort. You feel less exhausted by the end of the day. Mental quietness has a similar effect on your psychological, intellectual, and emotional energy.

All you have to do to achieve stillness of body is to finish your chores and then relax. Even while you're completing your tasks, you can conserve energy by using little movement. To get an idea of how to do this, just watch a monk in action. Or notice how a cat relaxes.

Stillness of mind is more challenging to achieve. However, this kind of quietness is much more critical to overall contentment.
How do you feel when you get some shocking news? How about when you finally reach your target at work, win an award, or find yourself suddenly in a crisis? You feel a rush of adrenaline and you're off, letting off steam in a gush of emotion, words or action.

So if this is such a natural response to big changes, why do you need to cultivate stillness? When you're in the middle, when you're centered, you can see both ends of the spectrum.
When you refrain from reacting in an extreme way, you can control your response to the situation. You can be objective. Most importantly, you can learn from your circumstances and use them for self-development.
From another perspective, when you've cultivated internal quietness, you're less likely to face extreme ups and downs.

Try these 3 Tips To Manage your Mind:

  1. Stop. In an extreme situation, pull away from the circumstance for a moment. Take a deep breath before you react.
  2. Listen. Listen carefully to what's being said. If your mind jumps the gun with words you feel compelled to speak, bring it back to the moment. Return your attention to what the other is saying.
  3. Think. Contemplate why you're facing the situation. Did you play a part in creating it? Is the other simply mirroring you? Is there something you need to learn from this circumstance?
    If you take these steps, you'll be able to avoid overreacting or reacting negatively in haste. This means your response, if and when it does come, will be the right one for the circumstances and for you.

The Importance of a silent mind for executives

Another way to develop mental stillness is to practice silence. Speak only when necessary. Speak only when you have something of consequence to say or something that will help the other.

Before you speak, examine your motivation for saying what you want to say. Is it to further the welfare of the other? Or is it to praise yourself or prove that you're right and the other wrong? A need to always be right is the basis of much conflict.
Moreover, when you're habitually silent, your words have more effect. People pay attention when you speak.

As you work toward greater self-awareness, try cultivating internal stillness. Just follow these guidelines as a start. As you practice, you'll realize many rewards. And then it becomes a new habit.

For my client these steps seemed practical. But in reality he struggled in the beginning to keep silent in the midst of a discussion or a request to employee. Then after we adjusted the action plan to keep 3, 5 later 10 times silent during a day before he replied, he used it naturally. He formed a new habit of silence, since he was able to get his words across so much more powerful and could acknowledge the view of the other person.

 

 

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.

How To Break Your Habits in 30 Days!

jeremy-bishop-264510[1]

"What kind of habits support you?"

"What kind of habits bring you temporary joy?"

"What habits hinder you to have a healthy, happy and successful life?"

These are the questions I ask my clients when they come to me how to break "bad" habits like - smoking, spending, sugar treats, getting angry easily, not being patient at work...

We clear the habit of thought underlying the behavior in a Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) session, and I share with my clients ways how to have control over their impulses and how to suppress them.

Breakthrough Your Habits in 30 Days

1. Monitor the habit for a week. Make note of the times you're likely to engage in the habit. Maybe you only smoke around certain friends. Perhaps you bite your nails when you're stressed or bored. At any rate, identify under which circumstances your habit is most likely to rear its ugly head.

2. Find out why. Your habit is satisfying some need. You're gaining a benefit or you wouldn't be exhibiting the behavior at all. Figuring out the positive aspects of your habit will help you understand it. Once you understand it, you can begin to change it.

3. Develop a substitute behavior. Find a more acceptable alternative that satisfies the same need that was being met by the old habit. So if your habit helps you to deal with stress, what are some healthy alternatives? Yoga? Other exercise? Deep breathing? Meditating? Singing? Watching a comedy? Calling a friend?

  • What could you do instead that isn't harmful? Better yet, what could you do instead that would be healthy for you?
  • Start substituting the new habit for the old. It will take a fair amount of attention at first, but begin intentionally substituting the new behavior each time you would automatically use the old behavior. It's likely to be challenging, but with a positive focus, you can do it.

4. Measure your progress. Keep track of how many times you engage in the old habit and how many times you engage in the new habit. Progress can be difficult to determine without measurement; if you don't know where you are, how will you know if you're moving forward or backward? By measuring your progress, you accomplish two things:

  • You get feedback so you know how successful you are.
  • You have the added motivation of seeing your progress.

5. Be patient. Take one step at a time. Complete perfection is unreasonable, but a little perfection can work wonders. Don't be upset when the inevitable slip occurs while you're breaking your old habit. Just examine the situation dispassionately and determine a better solution for the next time. You still gain a lot by decreasing the frequency of the bad habit.

  • A good idea is to focus on having one perfect day today. The idea of one day without the habit may seem quite reasonable - and doable - to you. A string of perfect days is a lot easier than trying to be perfect for an extended period.
  • For tough habits, a perfect hour might work better for your short-term goal.

Now that you're armed with a process, you can start eliminating that bad habit today. In 30 days, the new, healthier habit should be a part of your routine without requiring as much conscious effort. Changing to more positive habits can be challenging, but you gain a wonderful feeling of accomplishment when you do so.

For coaching, workshops and speaking. Please feel free to contact me here:  silkcelia.com

Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.

Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.

Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.

Join my FREE Mini-Course

Just tap the picture below.