"I want to open my own product line by the end of this year. But I am really struggling to get moving towards this goal.", a client I coach - an entrepreneur - told me with frustration in her voice.
"Let me tell you a motivational story about focus", I replied.
An ancient Indian sage was teaching his disciples the art of archery. He put a wooden bird as the target and asked them to aim at the eye of the bird.
The first disciple was asked to describe what he saw. He said, "I see the trees, the branches, the leaves, the sky, the bird and its eye.." The sage asked this disciple to wait.
Then he asked the second disciple the same question and he replied, "I only see the eye of the bird." The sage said, "Very good, then shoot." The arrow went straight and hit the eye of the bird.
What is the moral of the story?
Unless we focus, we cannot achieve our goal. It is hard to focus and concentrate, but it is a skill that can be learned.
"So let's start with simple tasks to build up your inner power of creating habits of success", I encouraged her.
Approved and helpful ways for creating successful goals in order to reclaim powerful actions.
- Consistently follow through. If you say you'll do something, be sure to do it. If strength training is something you’ve considered or you’re simply trying to get back into moving your body again, start now.
- For example, wake up at the same time every morning and do 30 minutes of strength training each day for the next month.
- Commit to something for just 30 days. Think of an activity you yearn to do and make the commitment to try it. Even if you don't like it, at least you tried!
- Write down your feelings. Give yourself 15 minutes every evening to journal. If you’ve been continually troubled by distressing feelings, journaling might help you to sort it all out.
- If your writing efforts have failed in the past, vowing to do it consistently each day for two weeks is a good way to see how it goes this time around.
- At the end of the two weeks, assess how it went. Do you find yourself feeling less stressed or better able to cope?
- If you think it might be working, but you are still unsure, continue journaling for two more weeks and reassess how you are feeling.
- Increase self-discipline. Let’s say you’re disappointed with your nutritional intake. One way to get back your power is to demonstrate to yourself that you can control what you eat. For example, pledge to eat a fruit before every meal each day for a week.
- When you decide to alter your diet for one week and then carry through with it, you resume control over your lifelong eating habits. Once you regain your self-discipline, then maybe you'll want to extend your new plan.
- Reconnect with previous activities. For example, maybe you've gravitated away from reading books because you’re caught up with your electronic options each evening.
- Get back to the basics of reading great books again. Set your initial goal at reading 25 pages of a book each night for a month. If that goal is too hefty, then lower it to 10 pages or whatever is doable for you.
5. Remind, Repeat, Reward. Habits according to neuroscience are formed when we follow the Reminder - Repeat and Reward Principle. And the moment they're habits, we don't need to consciously focus on them anymore.
- Set a reminder that you want to listen to webinars or podcast to enhance your knowledge, for example. You can put a reminder on your phone or a sticky note.
- Then just do it repeatedly for 21 days.
- Reward yourself anytime you listened with a positive affirmation to yourself, the new knowledge you have gained etc.
When establishing goals to regain your power, it’s best to set one goal at a time. Then, focus on meeting your goal by setting a specific timeline. You can decide later if you want to adjust or add an additional goal to pursue.
Rediscovering your power over your life is exhilarating. Be accountable for your actions. When you realize that you can accomplish the goals you set, you’ll regain the control over your life that you thought you’d lost and you can reach for higher goals. Just apply the same mechanism you just learnt!
My client started off with learning a new language and she followed through. She learnt Mandarin! Parallel to this she revisited her business plan and step by step focused on one goal after the other.
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Silke Glaab (aka SilkCelia) is a psychologist (MA) who helps executives, entrepreneurs and experts to be more resilient to stress and dramatically improve their thinking and feeling so that they enhance their performance and leave a legacy in their companies, their lives and the world.
Silk uses rapid transformation therapy to help clients to transform the roots of a presented issue within minutes while using neuroscience to boost brain power and emotional intelligence to create mindful behavior and decision making in all areas of life.
Silk holds a master degree in psychology and has worked for over 20 years as a trainer, consultant and counselor in divers industries in Germany, Kenya, and Dubai. She is personally trained by the celebrity hypnotherapist Marisa Peer and the neuroscientist Prof. Dr. Kennedy.